Scene #9667: Build The Fear, Face The Future

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Angela	Angela hasn't really reached out to Sougo since they delved into M.O.M's book, but she has made another call out recently. She was pretty up front about wanting to ask his advice on 'some matter' and invited him to the Library for just that. None of this is really strange except that she isn't meeting him within the Library tower but just 'outside' of it. Sougo can rely on two methods to enter, either Angela can send him an Invitation and he can us it to appear right there instantly, or he can head to the barrier of golden mist that will open up for him once he gets close and let him inside. The buildings that used to surround the L-Corp HQ have been consumed and transmuted, rebuilt into twisted constructs of the same dark wood that makes up the Library, gnarled like funny forest folk huts. The golden glow of the enkephalin-free light that illuminates all of Angela's EGO shines out of their windows, and towering younger-growth branches and trunks stretch up into the sky. Those branches reach across the evening sky like skeletal fingers, filtering out most of the sunlight that could penetrate through, and the concrete and asphalt that makes up the entirety of the City's ground surface has gradually transformed into wood. Carpets appear in spaces when they're not looked at directly, warm lanterns sprout out of building facades held by curled branches, and even the air tastes less bitter than it does outside of the Library's domain. Angela herself is just walking around the 'forest' outskirts while waiting. Unlike with Veronica, she doesn't really see the need to aura farm with Sougo or Woz, actually, so she is just wearing her librarian uniform and she is alone, further suggesting that whatever she wants to talk about it's something she doesn't really want her librarians to hear. She seems ... exhausted. Tired. Not exactly unhappy, though, because she's even smiling a little but she's drained all the same but she isn't stopping to rest until Sougo arrives, turning immediately to approach him. "It has been some time, Demon King." Angela dips her head to him. "I heard you met with ... Hubert, correct? ... That is not what I wanted to talk to you about, but it seemed appropriate to start with pleasantries. Or rather, perhaps it is related, if only indirectly."
Timespace Riders	"Hi Angela!" Sougo bounds right up to her after the sound of Woz's scarf fluttering deposits the both of them just a few feet away. He bounds right up to her, arms wide, and comes in for a hug. The mention of Hubert seems to surprise him. "I did, yeah," smiles Sougo, nodding. "Not that I knew it was him the first time we met." He wears one of his classic fits; a pink-blue pastel button-up plus a pair of rolled khaki jeans, and, of course, his favored pair of hiking boots. Woz inclines his head towards Angela with a little smile. "What did you want to talk about?"
Angela	Angela blinks in brief confusion at the idea that Sougo met Hubert even a prior time but she is still too fucking proud to go 'Huh?' and express utter bafflement--and she's helped in this dark goal of hers by actually not really being too invested in Hubert right now. He's a curious far off idea right now that might ultimately go nowhere and, you know, it's The City. Maybe his Board will just murder him to pieces before they even look each other in the eye. Angela has ducked, dodged, and flinched at hugs before and this time she doesn't rush in either, though she doesn't seem uneasy about it either. Rather, she quirks her head at Sougo's open arms as if she's trying to decide something. Not about Sougo, she seems comfortable around him hug or no hug, but something about herself. Sure, she's allowed herself to be hugged before by people but oftentimes it was a matter of 'well they earned it' or 'this person literally gave me hope so I owe it to them'. Now, Angela is thinking: 'Am I someone who likes to be embraced sometimes'. The answer comes more quickly than she expected--partly thanks to the TIme Curse--but she steps in and gives Sougo his hug. It's been lonely out here, even with the company. Minions and fellow Sephirah are not quite the same thing as friends even if some of those bonds are forged in blood and circuits. What does she want to talk about? "A long time ago, you and Woz paid me a visit. And you told me my future. To be honest, I didn't particularly want to put stock in it. Foreknowledge, in stories, tend to blind one to unexpected surprises. Believing in it was not a luxury that I had. But here I am in a Library. Closer to my ultimate goal than ever before. And Woz's warning sticks out like a nail." But she specifically asked for Sougo and though she gifts a smile to Woz as she pulls back from Sougo she asks, "...I never told anyone, until recently, about what you told me. But now I've told White. And..." She exhales. "The thought occured to me. 'What if I do not wish to murder all the Sephirah?'." She looks to Woz. "I could presume by implication at this point." She looks back to Sougo. "You are the future Demon King, are you not? You still seek that future, but you do not wish to be Ouma unless I misunderstand things. Am I wrong?"
Timespace Riders	Sougo frowns thoughtfully as he listens to Angela's explanation. "I think... if you had asked me that question, right after Woz gave that prediction, I would have just said... 'well, don't.' And, um, obviously, if you're asking me, I think you don't want to." "No one wants to hurt the people that are close to them." He reaches into his pocket and procures the Zi-O II ridewatch, half his usual motif of pink-silver-white, half Ohma Zi-O's of black-gold. Sougo holds it out for her inspection, his thumb tapping the black-gold half. "But if you let yourself think that... only an evil version of you could do that, that it could only be something you deliberately did, then you aren't being honest with yourself. You get so tied up in not being that version of yourself that all of your attention is there--and you might end up not noticing when you do hurt someone." "I used to feel that way--that I wanted to do anything to not be Ohma Zi-O. Nowadays... I know that he's me, and I'm him, and the reason there's a him at all is because I'm capable of being that way." He puts the twinned ridewatch away. "It's... weird, and it doesn't seem like it should make sense, but... it's easier to not be that way if I admit that 'me' is both my good feelings and my not-so-good ones. If I do that, I can sort them out, and decide which ones I want to act on."
Angela	''I would have just said... 'well, don't.''' Angela smiles thinly. "I suppose that would have been a King's answer, but I am not a bloodthirsty person. Even if I did not have an ounce of empathy for them, what would I gain from killing them? If I killed them, it would be because they were in the way of a goal I needed to fulfil desperately. And yet, even when I do kill them, I do not succeed in that goal. Therefore..." She exhales. "It must have been for some other reason or, at least, the process of ending them dissuaded me of the idea there was anything out there worth pursuing ... but that is hard to imagine, Sougo." She reaches out to take the Ohma Zi-O ridewatch so she can inspect it thoroughly, since he offered, and then hands it back. She isn't particularly inclined to abscond with it, obviously. She supposes she could imagine herself accidentally turning the Sephirah against her ot that extent, but if she killed them then it surely wasn't an accident. "Some accident or choice before that moment makes that event inevitable. And something about that event puts me in a killing mood." She shakes her head. "Unfortunately, it is all too easy for me to imagine killing people. Whether I wanted to or not." ''I know that he's me, and I'm him, and the reason there's a him at all is because I'm capable of being that way.'' "If it makes you feel any better, I enjoyed his company as well. He did not seem to be 'so bad'. I don't particularly know of his 'crimes', so to speak, but he was no more or less relaxing to be around than you. Maybe he accidentally became himself, plays that up, so you can be warned and make your choices with intentioanlity this time." She turns and makes her way to one of the trees and leans against it. Her 'climbing mood' has passed for the moment. "Some part of me feels I should have let myself be buried along with the rest of them. Who knows, maybe I could have instead been someone who was convinced by all those people who cared for them and wanted them to survive--I could have been someone trying to save them instead of just someone trying to live." She shakes her head. "But that sort of thinking would not have resulted in an EGO."
Timespace Riders	"You need to live before you can save anyone," says Sougo. "That's true whether there's an EGO involved or not." He and Woz both follow at a relaxed pace--Sougo, in particular, takes a moment to pause and follow the trunk of the tree upwards. "I don't know." "I've always been greedy, that way. M.O.M. said that, about me, you know?" He smiles. "Things aren't the same now, as they were. The world isn't the way it was, when he left. It isn't... the perfect thing that I wanted waiting for him. And, obviously... it would have been better if he'd never been in danger of not coming back. But..." He rocks slightly on his heels. "I'm happy that there's a world with him in it." "It seems like you've really gotten close to them. Is that why you started wondering what'd happen if you changed the future?"
Angela	''M.O>M said that, about me, you know?'' "Perhaps I ought to have presented you that gauntlet." Angela admits. "Though I suspect we'll be returning to that particular King's book shortly. Love's been chomping at the bit." She didn't bring M.O.M out because, like, she really doesn't want her people to listen to her uncertainties and anxieties. But there it is, again, that reminder that she can't save anyone until she has lived. Until she has been born. Maybe it's because she has started to crack that egg's shell that she is having thoughts like this? But she can still end up dying in the cold even if she manages to crawl all the way out. "I haven't been hearing in contact with the Concord as much as I ought to have been. I felt, well, surely nobody would want to engage in the business of killing people just to feed this tree." She doesn't really have a 'but' to add to that, but there's the suggestion of one. Like there's some route she hasn't been able to see that she should have tread upon. "I'd like to take you to him." Angela tells Sougo. "But I'm not really as close with him as I am with you, so I'd rather have this sort of discussion amongst us." ''It seems like you've really gotten close to them.'' "I was close to them from the beginning." Angela laughs, a bit miserably. "That was the problem. I was young, naive--I thought we could all work together and get through this as friends. I tried to help them properly, kindly, and take their advice to heart when offered. But all that ever did was result in disaster. It wasn't until I let myself hate them that I made progress. I didn't hurt them accidentally, Sougo, I hurt them intentionally, I tortured them, and yes--I did not exactly have much of a choice in the matter, but I still did it. And that is the 'me' they remember. The me that murdered their comrades for slight boosts to energy production, killed an effigy of her brother again and again and again because otherwise it would never end. I never enjoyed it, Sougo. I am not that sort of maniac." She sighs. "Even if they know it was by design now, the memory of what I did to them will never fade. How could I ever really be close to them, Sougo, when I tortured them because I had to and killed their dream because I wanted to? We can get along now, because there is no purpose to fighting. I would demolish even Gebura if she picked a fight with me in the Library." She shakes her head. "The thought occured to me, 'what was the point of helping them, if I just had to kill them in the end'. And I thought that--well, perhaps it was the Concord, or Lilian, or many others--but in the end White said my dreams could change in small ways. So I've been thinking about futures besides what seems so inevitable right now. And who else to talk to about this than you and Woz, the experts I trust?" She is feeling that urge to climb again actually. "...Want to get up here?" She nods to the tree and, particularly, a sturdy gnarled branch up there.
Timespace Riders	Sougo follows Angela's gaze and nods, with a little smile--a shade more sad, after having listened to her thoughts. His boots allow a good amount of purchase--Woz's would, too, though he seems more content to rest his back against the tree. Sougo climbs like someone who did as a kid and never forgot how, confident even in his endearing ungainlyness. With a grunt, he takes a seat on the branch, then settles in after a sigh. "I could tell you didn't enjoy it. When I first met you, you were really sad and angry. And I know that... the specific kind of angry you were, could only be the kind that someone gets when they try, over and over again, to bring the best out of other people, and they keep getting proven wrong. Then I saw how long you'd been at it, and I felt like I could blame you even less." He kicks his legs, decidedly absent the bright warmth so often present in his movement. "They might not ever forget what you did to them. You definitely won't," he admits, "Because you're that kind of person--in the beginning, you wanted to be their friend, and it seems like you kinda still do, and if you do... I'm kinda biased, because I'm... it takes me longer than most people, to stop wanting that from people who let me down or hurt me. So, take what I say with a grain of salt, I guess, but... well, it'd be okay to want that again." "No doubt," says Woz, who holds the book close to his side but does not consult it or even shift it in his grasp, "Today seemed hopelessly far away, not so long ago. Yet I, a Kamen Rider to those who toil in vain, was fortunate enough to fight for you alongside others, time and again, inch by inch, until 'then' became 'now.' Words cannot express what a joy it has been, to have helped you on your way to this moment--to have laid eyes on you living in it." "...There are some futures which one can achieve, only by a small adjustment. For many, however, it is more a matter of fighting for those inches wherever one can claim them, even when it is monotonous, or frightening, or frustrating. Yet, those who claw their way towards such futures are often more surprised than any other, when they achieve their dreams." "I guess the real question is whether you're ready to do that kind of work, again. Lilian called it running a marathon, once."
Angela	They won't forget. It's something she knew, of course, but nobody really ever threw that back at her before. Said it so directly. She pulls herself up onto the hanging branch. It doesn't crack underneath her, so it must be sturdy. It feels a little silly to be climbing this time, like what is she expecting to get by sitting here like this? She stares ahead at nothing in particular. Petra's words about this place being too desolate for her rings in her head. The old joy she had isn't coming back this time, there's still some but it's more muted than before. Maybe it's just because of her mood. "Kind methods could've worked. But it was designed to fail because the goal wasn't really to help them, it was to give them a big moment of emotional catharsis to power the Seed. One of the reasons why it had to be Lilian fighting Gebura was so that she would go berserk and then hit an emotional breaking point the correct way. Not that she didn't receive plenty of indirect help, but there were plenty of other ways to help her. And in the end they had their emotional catharsis, their growth, and I feel as if I've barely moved at all. ... And not just in the literal way. I see them, Sougo, they seem ... fine. They might be mad, resentful, grumpy, or whatever-- but at the end of the day, they've made peace with their foibles and grew stronger than them." "It doesn't matter what I want." Angela says. "Prisoners don't generally befriend the warden." She leans back, resting her head against the trunk of the tree. Maybe she isn't just being patient, maybe she just doesn't want to face the future and is driving Petra crazy by slowing everything down. Wouldn't it be better if she just waged her war as quick and dirty as possible so the overall suffering of people would be over quick, at least? Has she been 'the warden' for so long that she doesn't even know how to be anything else? Not so long ago, but it feels forever ago for her. And yet as if it were yesterday, too. If Woz is saying not so long ago, maybe that's the normal way to think of it, or is it the mysterious clever time traveler with the gift of prophecy seeing it? But what he says does lighten her heart in one important way. "it brought you joy?" Angela smiles at Woz. "...I feared you would have thought 'oh all my hard work was almost entirely pointless'. I hadn't known you were an optimist." But then again, he often did seem to be in a good mood. "I suppose it isn't as if nothing changed. There's just a new normal to push through and perhaps the normal after that will be the normal I seek. I've been thinking a lot about Tamamo and Lilian, honestly, and you two. You seem happy, not being alone. You're not wrong, if I actually do succeed in my goals, I suspect I'll be terribly surprised and probably a bit lost. I have that bucket list, of course, but..." She trails off. Is she ready to do that kind of work again? Participate in that marathon? Angela feels her legs ache. A phantom thing, of course, but the idea of another one week war is agonizing to think about. Is there another way she could do it, if it came to it? She's willing to run, but must it be on nails? "I feel I've no choice. My legs might give out under me, but I can't stand still either. Binah said that you can't change The City through the methods of The City. But despite her high hopes for me, it isn't as if I have any ideas beyond making more of that place, this place."
Timespace Riders	Woz smiles and closes his eyes, basking in a truth that he's realized about himself. "Esteemed Angela, my hard work is never pointless, even when it does not go the way I hope. The point, you see, is in you and others like you having the time and space you need to fight for another inch, or two, or three." "That's how it is," says Sougo. "That most of the time it's just a new normal. People have a habit of looking for 'The End,' or for the credits at the end of the movie to start rolling, and life just isn't like that. I think it'd be cheaper if it was, even." He shrugs, hands folded in his lap as his legs dangle. "I think 'normal' now is better for you and them, and the one after this will be better, too. And every one after the next, the last one'll seem farther away. I've got some ideas--a lot of us do--about how to change the City. I want to make people harder to just spend, and to say that the people are more important than the Wings or the Syndicates or whoever." "But to really do what I want to, T Corp has to be... well, gone. They know what I can do, and they want me where they can see me. So... I leveraged that into a spot on their board, and once I figure out how they keep tabs on me, I can bury it. Time travel will stay illegal, sure, but it'll be a lot harder to enforce on without the biggest profiteer in business. That's why I met with Hubert--to give the impression I was just some dumb kid that he could buy over with a cushy offer and some nice words."
Angela	"I suppose that's true. Even if 'getting out' feels like an ending, it isn't really one. The hard journey of realizing what a free Angela is can only really begin there. The best I can do is comprehend what the ideal is right now. I had a theory, recently, that the EGO we are using right now are saplings--" She pats the trunk of the tree. "Still with room to grow. Assuming that the EGO means I've concluded my self discovery---well, Petra agrees that would really defeat the purpose. And I agree. Trees keep growing for quite some time and endure for even longer. I'm glad ... you think that this is better." She had started to think it was worse. "I am confident that you, the Father, Lilian, Rita and Petra--will ultimately change The City for the better. I suppose that is what made it easy to not worry about doing so for myself. I hope those inches are still satisfying to you." ''By the way Angela, I'm totally gonna ruin the closest thing you have to a grandfather's life.'' "He is still a stranger to me." Angela says. "And you are Concord, I won't get in your way if you were worried about that. If you have to ruin him, ruin him, but I ask you do not kill him. If he desires it and does not cringe upon seeing me, I can have a place for him worth far more than T Corp. Perhaps without a nation weighing him down, it will be easier for him to see the appeal." She isn't really too concerned about breaking the laws, honestly, but it is true that if a Wing can just detect when Sougo breaks that taboo they'd have a severe leverage over him. If there's anything The City takes seriously it's the breaking of the Head's own taboos. They might miss something here and there, or they might let minor violations slide for a bit, but The Head going all out to crush Sougo is not something either of them are ready to deal with yet and she suspects that Binah might be one of the kinder ones of the bunch, as maddening as that sounds. If they can't destroy Sougo directly they'll destroy everythihng around him instead. And Sougo has at least one soft target around him. Sure, maybe he could avenge him or fix the problem but if Angela knows one thing, seeing a loved one die once doesn't get reset if you turn back time. You cannot reset a tale. "I appreciate you being cautious. To be honest, I am chomping at the bit to take the fight to the Head myself, but I shouldn't be careless like that. Even if Binah seemed perfectly handleable, she was alone during the Meltdowns and Arbiters do not battle alone. And that's assuming there aren't Wing singularities mucking the matter up further if they deem you a threat to capital. The Wings can still easily decide you are more a problem for their business than upstarts or other Wings." She closes her eyes, exhaling. What has SHE done to devastate the hegemon lately? So far it feels most of her work has harmed normal people, mercenaries, or the worst slime of the dregs--sure, maybe not all bad, but not exactly City-shaping. No wonder the Library is still not deemed as a Star. And if it is not seen as a Star, those closer to the levers of power will be forever out of her reach. "If there is anything I can do to help, it would be nice teaming up again more often. Certainly, I cannot walk around The City, but that does not mean I cannot provide you support."
Timespace Riders	"Killing him was never an option," says Sougo. "I hate doing that, even on people I've totally written off, and besides that, I really doubt that I'd even need to do it. As much as guys like him want to think otherwise, he's not some lynchpin holding the whole thing together. Once something gets as big as a Wing, a guy like him could disappear completely, and it'd still run more or less the same as it did." "As far as helping me, I'll let you know. I'm still really new, and some of the smarter people in that place are definitely still suspicious of me. I'll check back with you in a month or two, and let you know how things are going. Which... reminds me, I should probably talk to Benjamin and see what he knows."
Angela	''Killing him was never an option. ... I really doubt that I'd even need to do it.'' "It is true that the leaders of Wings are barely less disposable to these forces than the general citizen of the Wing. There is some promise of protection for the Nests, of course, relative to the Backstreets but...." Angela hesitates. "That is, sort of, what I mean. At some point, T Corp will see him as disposable. This is why there is no distinguishing element between the term 'Feather'. CEO or employee--anyone is disposable. Even a man like him who was labeled a 'genius'. So I'll clarify." Angela takes another steadying breath. "I would like him to be alive by the end of your work and in a position to communicate with me. I know that some of this, particularly the latter, is more in my hands than yours right now. But even if I've found the 'family of choice', as they say, I'd rather him be alive. I do not want the question of whether or not he could be part of mine to remain a question I'll never have the answer to. Since you are close to him, I'll consider your input of course, but until I see him, how could I be sure?" But in all honesty, Angela only particularly cares about Hubert. T Corp as an entity, well, according to Hubert at least, Ayin misused the technology they shoved into her skull. "It is an old Wing, so I'm sure there are plenty who will try to murder you too. But that is probably a good thing. It'll make your goals easier. Please let me know." ''I should probably talk to Benjamin and see what he knows.'' Angela is hesitant. People haven't really paid Benjamin many visits as of late (and Angela still thinks of him as Benjamin first before Hokma). He spent the whole of his Meltdown learning about having loyalty about those he cares for and surely he still cares for Hubert. And she can't say that fucking with Hubert is, really, a favor to her. "He may be reluctant to sell out a father figure. Even he, after all, has ultimately changed thanks to the Meltdowns. But he'd be happy to talk to you. When you are ready, we can schedule that discussion." rShe rests her eyes a moment. Then she hops back down off the tree. "But before you go, you should see how M.O.M is doing. It may be a bit strange to hear from me, but I think we've talked enough about schemes and the future for one day." But she's smiling. She's feeling a little more hopeful after what felt like a long march to nowhere.