Scene #5222: The City Of Doors

Owner	Pose
Laer	Laer had been a little bit less discerning with the latest mission than she had been with her last. This is both because it's less important and because it's far less secret. Still, the meeting location is, well, slightly odd. More than slightly odd. It's in the middle of nowhere, damn near, with very precise coordinates given to a forest miles and miles away from the nearest city. Laer is resting against a smaller tree next to a path, one that runs to another tree and then goes nowhere. It looks rather out of place, actually. Still, she's not entirely certain who might answer the requests she'd put out through both the Syndicate and other means. It was a bit suspicious, likely, someone offering to pay a great deal to others who were willing to go shopping for her. Particularly out here.
Seifer Almasy	Seifer Almasy has had meetings in far more unusual places than 'under a tree in a forest somewhere with a beautiful woman.' Seifer has had meetings 'in a library back room with Raijin to discuss why some guy was shitposting about them on the BBS.' Seifer has had meetings 'in an artificial rainforest with a real-ass T-Rexaur inside it to catch people trying to have sex in said artificial rainforest so he could haul them in for the school.' Seifer has even had meetings 'on enemy territory during a war that doubled as a final exam.' This, yeah, this is almost an /expected/ level of normalcy. The Gunblade Knight arrives with his gunblade, predictably, slung over his shoulder. He doesn't walk in the wilderness without doing that. It's not good policy. Screen transitions can hit at any minute, and if you're not prepared, BLAM. You're somebody else's level-up. He holds up a hand at Laer. "Hey. You're the client, right? I mean, if we both got here early, that's cool, too." Seifer unslings the gun from his shoulder and sits down against the tree at a perpendicular angle. "Wake me up when all the slowpokes get here." And then he proceeds to tip his head forward, close his eyes, and quietly snore.
Rabby	Rabby arrives within a short matter of time. Her rifle is strapped to her back, although she's hoping she won't need it for anything. Regardless, it's always good to come prepared. The stern look on her face indicates that she's not here for pleasure or anything like that, although it's also notable to know that she's generally a stern woman in general as well. Upon arriving, though, her appearance seems to soften a little. "I'm Rabby, and I heard about what's happening, so I came as quickly as I could." Her stance hardens a little as Seifer lays down to go to sleep, but then she returns her focus to Laer again. "I'm not entirely sure what's going on, but I'm ready for just about anything!"
August Kohler	Being paid to do someone's shopping? While that's a bit suspicious, it seems like easy cash which can be put into good things (or just food and video games). And if the ingredient list sounded like it's actually a recipe for a bomb or something, you could always back out. That was August Kohler's reasoning for taking the job, as he showed up to the meeting spot dressed in one of his countless hoodies (this one is gray) with a high-tech gun holstered to the side, an odd machete on his waste, and a CD jewel case opposite it. "Which one of you is the client?" August says to both Laer and Seifer, squinting at the latter slightly as if he recognized him, before shaking it off, though August does recognize Laer from his early days in the Multiverse. He notices Rabby as well, not recognizing her at all, so he just gives a nod in her direction. "August Kohler. So, grocery shopping for good pay? What's the catch?"
Laer	"It's not groceries, exactly. Hello, though; it's been a while. I'm going to split the money up between the three of you. It's enough to cover what my order is three times over. You get to keep the extra between you if at least two of you manage to not get robbed or cheated of it." Laer will explain, pulling out three purses and written lists - it looks like a lot of alchemical materials she's ordering, and rather rare ones. "There are a couple of things I should mention, before I send you. You should come out relatively close to the Market from here, this time of week. Hopefully. I can't really verify it, but if you're not near there you'll be somewhere you can get there from." She'll hand a purse and list each over to Seifer, Rabby, and August, before smiling. "The main things you probably want to avoid that would be easy mistakes are actively worshipping anything, or mentioning my name. Especially the latter. Also, especially the former. Don't do those. Also, try not to get robbed or cheated. You can find the things on the list at a great many stalls. There are probably other places I could find these, but Sigil is the one I know of that's reliable, and access to it is denied to me for reasons I won't explain. They're for some personal research, and no it's not into any weapons or anything to hurt anyone, really." Nothing on the list looks actively and inheriently dangerous, at least, though some of it is bizarre and makes little sense. The elf woman will glance at the tree across the way. "So. The way there is to walk backwards into that tree while making music. Whistling is the most reliable, but humming sometimes works. Do not forget where you come out in the city; the way back will be to do the same thing there."
Seifer Almasy	Seifer reads the list. He listens to the instructions. He does not look like he was just napping, because a military man can go from SLEEP to WAKE in the same manner as a computer. But like a good one, not a crash-y one. "OK," Seifer says after a long moment, "That's fucking crazy but if you're paying well, what do I care?" So he whistles and moonwalks backwards into the tree, because he's a professional, and the lady's cute and loaded, and if she wants to pay a shitload of money to watch him smash his head into a tree, well, OK. He clearly doesn't believe this'll work.
Rabby	A purse? And a shopping list? At first, Rabby can only scowl at this, before remembering that she's supposed to be (somewhat) professional. She shrugs a little and takes a good look at the list, although she does narrow an eye at it, before looking to Laer. "All right, if that's what we have to do, then I'll do it!" She tries to whistle, but a few notes come out wrong. Instead, she starts to hum a tune to herself out loud and begins to walk backwards towards the tree. From the sound of things, it seems Rabby has a bit of practice at singing.
August Kohler	As the lists and purses are handed out, August reads over his copy of the former, carefully. Once he's sure that he has no idea what it is but nothing reads as 'DANGEROUS', he pockets both safely, and listens to Laer's instructions. His stare is blank as she explains that they /might/ come back at the same time and same place, the odd rules, and how they're getting there. He's not quite sure if he believes it, but it's good money, and he's seen some pretty damn insane stuff so it's not /impossible/. "Oh. So that's the catch. Either you're insane, or wherever we're going is insane. Now I understand why you're paying so well." The redhead almost wants to just wait to see if the others bump their heads or not... But that would probably look bad, so he turns to walk backwards into the tree, and begins whistling The Farmer in the Dell. Atleast the payment will pay for injuries.
Laer	"...Well, I can't argue with where you're going being insane. Also, I really mean it about not mentioning who you're there for." Laer will remind them, as they start to one by one follow her instructions. The last one to go will probably realize that something's happening before they hit, given the lack of protests from the other two, but it's still likely to be a little shocking. Laer's known as something of an expert on teleportation, so maybe she was just screwing with them before opening a portal herself.. but she'd have had to done it while waving goodbye to them from the other tree, well in sight while walking backwards. Of course, if they were really expecting to hit the tree and braced themselves at all, they might be in for a rough time. The city streets they end up in, with dim lighting all around, are quite crowded as they emerge on the other side of a wall that looks like it's made of brick. They may smash into somebody, or more accurately the first might and then the other two might pile on, to the jeering of the crowd around. Still, if this isn't a market, it's hard to say what is; stores and stalls as far as the eyes can see in all directions. This includes up; sufficiently good eyesight, or any kind of aid like binoculars, will reveal that the twinking lights above them are more stores, rather than stars.
Seifer Almasy	"Well," Seifer says, "/fuck/." This is about as eloquent as he's going to be for the moment.
Rabby	As soon as Rabby arrives in the new place, she looks around and then does a double-take. "Did I just...?" She trails off as she realizes there are others there and might see her talking to herself. Scratching her head nervously and sweatdropping, Rabby starts to look around, wondering if she can find what she needs quickly.
August Kohler	As the last one in, August realizes that this isn't a prank or a trap right before he hits the tree, and sighs, changing his bracing from 'for hitting something' into 'for teleporting'. He closes his eyes, only opening them once he hears the others, forcing himself to grind to a halt. "Well, shit. This is spooky. Alright, so, while we could probably cover more ground that way, do we /really/ want to split up? We're in some sort of skyscraper market city and that we got through via a tree." August begins thumbing through his list. And then goes to look for the most helpful looking person close by. "Hey, excuse me, we're new here, do you happen to have a map or know where I can find one?"
Laer	Fortunately for Seifer, the local swear words are different, and so noone will be offended on behalf of any small children. People in fact mostly seem to be ignoring the newly arrived trio, with a few giving closer looks to the wall. August, as the only one to directly ask any of the bystanders, is the only one who really gets a response. "Oh dear, oh dear, a bit of newfound Primer trash, swept straight in and lost already?" The elderly woman he asks will reply, smiling toothily. Her teeth appear to be made up entirely of flames. "Well, I don't have a map, but I can give you a spot of directions if you know where you need to be and have the pay for my time."
Seifer Almasy	Her teeth are on fire. t She's a woman. But her teeth are on fire. But she's a woman. But her teeth are on fire. But she's a woman. Seifer wars between his Chivalrous Notions and his Common Sense. As usual, his Chivalrous Notions win out in the end. He puts a hand on August's shoulder to show solidarity and cast his vote to agree to the lady's help, because...it's a good idea, probably. It's probably a bad idea, but Seifer has that Trouble for a reason.
Rabby	Upon seeing how the woman's teeth are made of flames, Rabby goes wide-eyed and steps back a little. She doesn't say anything for fear of saying the wrong thing and possibly getting a real case of hot air! After a moment, though, she regains her composure and speaks again softly. "How much are you asking in return for your assistance?" She looks into the purse she was given, hoping there's some local currency inside that she can donate.
August Kohler	Well, not only is this woman spooky (fire teeth!) but she's going to want to be paid. August is about to decline, when he feels Seifer's hand on his shoulder, and the pressure. "Alright, so we're on a little shopping trip for our grandmother, but we haven't actually been out here in...Sigil? Before. We're trying to figure out where we can find some of these ingredients." He doesn't show the lady the list, but instead reads off several of the rarer looking items. "My sister here," August glances towards Rabby, because she's already rifling through her money pouch. "will pay you."
Laer	"Your sister." The woman responds, a bit flatly. She's really somewhat in the 'crone' classification, truthfully. Still, she'll lift a hand out to take the coins if Rabby offers any, without specifying a cost. The coins are not only not obviously a local currency, but quite obviously are all from entirely different currencies, though all appear to be either silver or gold. Also, the woman's fingernails are also flames. Rabby may want to be careful in paying her. Once paid, she'll make a thoughtful noise. "Well. Most of those sound like something you'll find in some of the more expensive alchemist stores. I haven't heard of two of them, but the alchemists will probably know. So what you're going to do is go down six stands to the yellow one, turn left. Walk until you get to the green one that smells as though it's on fire, then go towards the red stand that sells human flesh on a stick. Once you get past that, walk about eight stands, turn right. Go until you pass the armory with six maces in the window and turn right. Take a right into the blind alley and go straight. You'll walk until you get to an actual storefront, that's Feralt's Alchemy, and that's the best bet anywhere this side of the market for what you're looking for."
Seifer Almasy	Seifer repeats the instructions flawlessly. Memorizing instructions is part of being a covert SeeD operative, after all; you have to learn to read and hear things fast, and then get out of dodge or burn the evidence. This, Seifer feels, is one of those times - there's just something /weird/ about the place. "Six stands down to the yellow one, turn left, walk till we get to the green one that smells like it's on fire, go towards the red stand that sells human flesh on a stick. Pass that, walk eight stands, turn right, pass the armory with six maces in the window, turn right, take a right into a blind alley and go straight. Walk till we get to a storefront, Feralt's Alchemy, and that's where we're going." t "So left, probably left, then go in a half-circle straight to Feralt's." "Got it. Thanks. C'mon," Seifer adds, dragging August by the shoulder and flicking his finger at Rabby, "Let's roll."
August Kohler	"I'm the redheaded stepchild." August's response is deadpan, staring the old woman in the eyes. As she gives out the directions, he's staring, trying to repeat them in his head. "Six...what?" Luckily, Seifer has that handled, and also is dragging August along. "Agh, agh, slow down!" August glances at the ingredient list again as they travel, putting it on Seifer to actually follow the path and make sure they don't get lost. "Expensive stuff, huh? Man, the hell is she doing with this stuff?"
Laer	The directions are clear. Left, left, right, right, right.. It takes about fifteen minutes, if they just walk straight on without stopping at any of the stands and follow the directions precisely, though they can see quite the set of sights on the way. Even just in the stands, nearly anything imaginable is for sale, and the people.. There are things that look like they can't possible be sentient, and in one case a vendor appears to be an inanimate rock. Getting close enough will have prices ringing out in the approaching person's head, if they've no blocks against telepathy. Eventually, after following along a blind alley for a bit, the trio will come out next to a brick wall, with a building directly across from them. They'll realize, if they're really paying attention, that the wall is the one they came through to begin with. Also, as a hint, the old woman is right down from there, waving. "I see you found it! It's just over there!" She isn't offering a refund.
Seifer Almasy	Seifer's not even mad. He was expecting to be lured into an ambush. He instead pats August on the shoulder. "Aight, you go shop. I'll make sure you two don't get your pockets picked or some shit."
Rabby	Rabby follows the directions to the word, keeping a close memorization of them while repeating them a few times as she goes on her way. It's easy to remember directions when you've been a starship officer for a long time. What's not easy is the fact that it feels like they've just been tricked in a way. In fact, when Rabby spots the old woman, she scowls at her. "Is this some kind of a joke?" She asks. "Because I'm not laughing!"
August Kohler	When it turns out they've been going in a circle, August frowns but doesn't say or do anything, because it wasn't his share of the money, just 15 minutes wasted. He nods to Seifer, and then waves a hand at Rabby. "Come on, let's head into the shop." He'll head towards Feralt's Alchemy, and once inside, start looking for the things on his list /super carefully/, because man, is this place not trustworthy.
Laer	August is right. This place is super untrustworthy! Thus, when he heads inside, he'll find that the majority of the space inside is behind the counter, and only a few things are out where customers can touch them. Instead, there's what looks like an actual human behind the counter, who'll look at him and Rabby and bellow out in a deep voice. "What are you looking for?" Meanwhile, outside, Seifer will get approached by a quite short tiefling. "Hey, berk! Granny got you good, dinnit she?" The young boy will ask, somewhat obviously mocking him. Still,the kid can't be older than twelve, probably, even if he looks like a demon.
Seifer Almasy	"Yeah," Seifer agrees with a nasty grin, "But she got the chick who paid better, you little bastard."
Rabby	At first, Rabby reels back at the sound of the bellowing, but then she looks up and sees the human. She puts on a stern face as if to show she's not intimidated by him and speaks in a neutral, but firm tone. "We need a few things, perhaps you could help us?" She tries to sound pleasant, but her tone indicates she's trying to be tough as she holds out the list for the shopkeeper to peruse.
August Kohler	As Rabby asks the shopkeeper about the items, August is looking through his coinpurse, and making sure to seperate off the pay from what is actually being spent on supplies. There's a glance up to the shopkeeper. "This should cover it, if you have /everything on the list/." He doesn't let go of the money, waiting for a reply from the shopkeeper first.
Laer	The shopkeeper will look at the list, his eyebrows going up as he looks over it. "I have all of this except for choco-tulips. Those are available from the confectionary florist two doors that way. They're the cheapest things on the list by a lot, though. Who are you buying these for?" He'll ask, with a bit of a supicious edge to his voice. Seifer, meanwhile, is going to have a hard time getting rid of the kid. "Oh, yeah? Think you're hot, Primer? Would you like to try rolling some of your luck? We have drinks from all the planes, too, so you could find something that would buzz you."
Seifer Almasy	"What, so you could pick my pocket and walk off with my gil? Like hell. Piss off." Seifer makes a motion with his foot. "I know how you play this game, an' I ain't interested. I got a job to do, an' I'm gonna do it, so either pull a gun on me and make this interesting or get the fuck out of my face!"
Rabby	"They're for a friend... I don't recall her name though." Rabby tries to remain polite as best as she can, but she's starting to slip and sound a little shaky. "She gave us this list, we needed a few things, that's all I know."
August Kohler	"Choco-tulips, got it." August cuts off a few coins from the payment and puts it back into the bag, as he looks up at the shopkeeper. "This should cover it, right?" Still not letting go of his money.
Laer	"Alright, then." The shopkeeper will say, supiciously. "Only, neither of you look like elves, and noone else works with that particular metal, because it melts the skin of people what aren't." He'll start to dig around the back, taking a number of tightly sealed containers, placing them all within a box. It's quite heavy once fully loaded up, in fact, a solid sixty or seventy pounds - carryable, but distracting. If they decide to get the tulips as well, this will only add a few moments, and then they'll be done and at the wall. The kid will snort at Seifer. "You're not going to have any fun in your life like that. Wind yourself up that tight and your back will break, berk." But he'll run off, demon-tail fluttering behind him as he does.
Seifer Almasy	"I have lots of fun!" Seifer shouts after the kid, "I have so much fun, if you saw how much fun I had, you'd say, 'damn, that primer guy has a shitload of fun, I wish I had that much fun! Too bad I'm some kind of...shitty little...demon...thing, so I can't have fun like that guy can!'" Seifer kicks the dirt in front of him. "Little bastard," he mutters, "Could've put him through the stall." "I'LL GET YOU NEXT TIME!" He shouts, because it feels like the right thing to do, and then crosses his arms and looks Angry at Things, which is to say he falls back into the default state for Seifer Almasy as the others come out of the store. "It took you way too long," Seifer grunts, "Let's get the hell out of here."
Rabby	Once things are paid for, Rabby waits for the items to be loaded. Once the box is fully ready, she shudders a little at the thought of possibly having her skin melted. She attempts to heft the box as best as she can, although it's a little difficult. "OK, just gotta get this back... Maybe some help here?"
August Kohler	"Sorry, I have to get the choco-tulips." August grins at Rabby and waves, heading off to the store with those to buy them. If Seifer helps her out, well, but August is not a big guy and is going to get out of grunt work where he can.
Laer	The choco-tulips will be quick enough to be acquired, and as promised they're quite cheap - there's even a special where a dozen will come with a free vanilla-rum rose. The thorns on those are quite sharp, however. Once that's picked up, the trio will be ready to leave, if they remember how. The wall they came in through will be right in front of them, at least, which should make it easier. The box of stuff that seems at least slightly hazardous might make them feel awkward about moving backwards through the crowd!
Rabby	Walking backwards might be dangerous considering the cargo, but there's no other option. Once again, Rabby begins to hum out loud as she walks towards the wall, hoping no one else (at least those aside from who she came with) notices. She's not a bad singer, but this looks weird in her opinion! Especially when she's a stranger in a strange land!
Seifer Almasy	Seifer gets around feeling awkward by being first one out, thus averting having to carry things or even do real work (aside from not let things get stolen, which, in Sigil, probably counts as real work). He moonwalks out, whistling the whole way. If he sees that kid again, he flips him off. Just one for the road. When he emerges from the tree he is in a bad mood. He shoves his hands into his pockets, still aggressively whistling.
Laer	"Oh, you all made it back!" Laer will say, as though she's quite surprised. "Did you get everything?" She'll inquire, picking up the box and starting to dig into it. "Great! I might have more for you in the future, but I hope you all worked out your payment between you with the leftovers?" She'll not seem too bothered if it wound up uneven, however, as she takes her box. "Thank you for the assistance. Oh, you even got the tulips! These things are great, and I haven't had one in... far too long." She'll muse, before bowing slightly. "I'll give you each a portal to somewhere, if you want. Otherwise, for now, our business is concluded."