Scene #4359: The Queen Naka's Revenge

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Graf Zeppelin	RECENTLY, Admiral Nagato has cracked down on how much freedom Naka was enjoying with her idol career. Not making her stop, but requiring that she spend more time working as a fleet daughter. That meant attending more lessons, joining more training drills, actually sleeping on base with her fleet mates, annnnnnnnnd... going out on more routine patrols. HOW WAS A GIRL SUPPOSED TO BE AN IDOL AND A FLEET DAUGHTER AT THE SAME TIME!? Well apparently, Naka had to make it work. BUT! But... she was not going to languish in this pain alone! No, for this patrol, she's decided to drag someone along who had nothing to do with this! Not Sendai. Not Jintsuu. Nope, WILL. WILL PAUWEL. You have been chosen to undertake this glorious mission. AND SO One light cruiser, in full loadout, stood on the deck of Will's Chorus alongside the Chaser himself. With the wind blowing through her hair, the girl looked out across the sea, spreading her arms cheerfully. "Hehe! I'm surprised you managed to get this thing up and running so well, Will!" A mischievous smile spread across her face then as she looked aside at him. "I guess you're kinda good with your hands after all, huuuuh?"
William Pauwel	WILL WAS SUPPOSED TO BE DONE WITH THIS NAVY THING. But he's also just terrible at ever turning down a lady's request. Especially when that lady did a thing that STILL makes him get all weird-feeling and twitchy even just remembering it. Baka Naka. At least it's a good opportunity to break in the new girl. That is, the new ship. THERE IS NOTHING WEIRD HAPPENING HERE OKAY. The Chorus cuts briskly through the rolling waves like a hot knife through a sea of butter. It turns out that the Ancients made no-slip armor too, judging by how the old PT boat's hull is just sort of slicing through the water. Will fidgets worryingly at the controls. Should he really be piloting when his cheeks are lit up like a Christmas tree!? "W-well, it ain't... that," he says of his hands. "P...probably. It's just, I couldn't leave the old girl just lyin' around on shore. She needed to be at sea! B-but she does run pretty well, don't she?" But at least the patrol is more or less peaceful, right? I mean, who'd be dumb enough to come close to a naval base inhabited by a whole host of actual living battleships!? Dumbkopfs, that's who. Also, the huge shadow that just sailed over the sun just now. "Wh--" Will looks up as a FLYING GALLEON sweeps across the sky. It sails forth, the ether wind catching mightily in its sails before touching down far in the distance, alighting on the very edge of the horizon. A wave comes crashing in a moment later. "Uhhh, Naka?" Will blinks up at the Shipgirl from behind his TRUSTY VISOR. "Y'all want to maybe... Call this one in?"
Graf Zeppelin	By the gods, this fool was adorable. Will, she's not going to leave you along if you keep acting like that! The grin on her face said it all. But my, this girl...the ship, not the fleet daughter, did run pretty well for being a fixer upper. Naka couldn't help but nod in appreciation. "Awwww you're so kind! If I wind up broken on a shortline, will you fix me too?" She asks in a clearly ribbing manner, fluttering her eyes and looking like an innocent kitten. Naka no. Thank the lords that the patrol's been peaceful so far though. Just an hour, and then they can head back and she can go to OTHER things! Like head off to her dance classes in Urbania! ...What? Those were important! Gotta keep the body limber and the routines memorized! Of course, their luck doesn't last. A shadow looms overhead, and the light cruiser looks upward, eyes slowly widening, and mouth gradually opening from her previous smile to a shocked look of awe. "...Wha....Whawahwa.....!" THAT WAS A FLYING SHIP! AN ACTUAL FLYING SHIP! Will's words snap her out of her surprised stupor, and the girl slowly processes this all. "......" "..." "He he hehe~" Oh no. Naka grinned and then looked back at the Chaser. "Call it in? Noooo waaaaaaay!" She thrust her arm forward, pointing at the ship in the distance in a dramatic manner. "C'mon Will! We've got a ship to chase!" Naka no.
William Pauwel	"F-fix you?" Will stammers, staring determinedly down into the safe haven of his speedometer. W-w-what did she mean by that? Was it just... what she said? Where is the double-meaning!? No! Be strong, Will! "W-well, yeah, sure I would. Iff'n I found you all broken down, I'd definitely fix y'all up. Maybe even make you feel better than good as new!" see will, it's because you say things like that that-- FLYING SHIP Flying ships aren't really that big of a deal back on Tellus. Well, they ARE, but in the 'oh man that is a cool new airship look at the engines' sort of way. Still, this is a flying ship in a place where there should definitely not be flying ships, so its presence is... Concerning. Will fiddles with his controls while he waits for Naka to call-- wait s-she's not calling it in? "W-what, right now?? Nagato'll be--" Will stammers, leaning over his console. Somehow his leg accidentally guns the engine-- and the Chorus takes off like a shot straight for YONDER SHIP. "Wh-aaaa!" good job will
Graf Zeppelin	Nope! Not calling it in! TO ADVENTURE! Will accidentally guns it and they SHOOT OFF INTO THE DISTANCE. As they barrel across the water, and get ever closer, they can see...what amounts to some kind of futuristic pirate flag. Partially holographic, with a skull and crossbones. The skull was wearing some kind of visor.... It was actually all kinds of silly, but the message got across nonetheless. "Hey Will?" Naka starts holding onto a railing as she peers into the distance. "...I thiiiiiiink they guys are pirates!" Ya don't say? That fact is then confirmed when several ports open in the side of the ship, and then angle out towards them. "Uh-" BLAM Several streams of green laser blasts streak across the sky and downward towards their little by comparison PT boat. "THEY'RE ATTACKING, THEY'RE ATTACKING!" Naka yelps, scrambling on the deck comically. So much for a peaceful patrol, huh?
William Pauwel	There is a man dreaded across the Seven Celestial Seas; a ruthless freebooter for whom wealth is only a stepping stone to dominion over the great pirate kings. He is renowned for two things: his GREAT, TENDRILOUS BEARD and his INVINCIBILITY BEFORE THE LAW. His name is CAPTAIN ALPHADOR VAN SATURNHEIM. He is a space pirate. A pirate. In space. And today, he has located a great treasure indeed. "Cap'n, we've touched down! The WATER PUMPS are functionin' normally!" Calls a distinctly parrot-faced space alien space pirate. "Harr! Very good Mister Paulie. Fill the holds! This planet's water will be OOOOUUUUURSS!" A beat. There's a blip on... some form of piratey sensor. The little blip is shaped like a skull and crossbones... with a visor. "Captain, we've got company! Small vessel on fast approach, nine-o-clock!" "What!? Show these insolent fools what it means to mess with a MAN OF THE SEAAAAA!" Beat. "THE SPAAAACE SEAAAAA!" And then there are lasers. BACK ON THE CHORUS, THERE ARE FUCKING LASERS. "AAAAAH," Will screams, sending the Chorus into rapid hairpin turns as great green beams streak across the sea all around them. He leans left! He leans right! SOMEHOW THE BOAT DOES NOT CAPSIZE. A beam strikes its hull-- ...and vanishes into the jet black armor there. Huh. "NAKA WHY ARE WE CHARGIN' ACTUAL PIRATES!?" Will screams, sending the Chorus into a DIRECT COLLISION COURSE with the piratey vessel. "AAAAH! GUNS! GUNS! GUNS!" Will pushes a big red button. Something behind him pops out of a pair of hidden compartments. Two somethings. Two big, vaguely cylindrical somethings. ...Gatling guns? Not just ordinary gatling guns. ANCIENT ENERGY AUTOCANNONS. Green fire is met with a vicious hail of red! It's a real space battle out there! A space battle! ON EARTH!
Graf Zeppelin	"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Naka screams as they charge RIGHT FOR THE DAMN THING. She looks over at Will, and somehow manages to grin despite the terror. "IIIIIIIIT'S OKAAAAAAAY!" PSHEW. A beam just blasted right by her head. "............." Ha....haha....hah. Naka woodenly turns her head and then faces the DREAD PIRATE SHIP. Green meets red as the two vessels fire upon one another in a vicious, yet magnificent hail of fire. It was like the space battle came down to the sea. And then Naka has a Dumb Idea(TM) "I'm gonna board them." What? Suddenly, she kneels down, even with all that metal equipment attached to her, and....VAULTS right up and straight into the air, sailing through the rain of energy and coming to arc into descent riiiiiight over the deck of that there ship. "BANZAAAAAAAAAAI!" No Naka. Naka no. But it's too late. While she sails downward, her fitout's turrets are all aimed downwards at the fast approaching deck, and... BLAM. Without regard for what's down there, she opens fire. Maybe they should just call for backup. ...nah.
William Pauwel	"AAAAAAAAAAAAH NAKA WATCH YOUR HEAAAAD--!" Being hit directly by a laser will PROBABLY HURT even for a shipgirl. I mean, this is a space battleship they're dealing with, after all. It's not some pansy-ass TIE-FIGHTER or something! Bolts of green energy rain down on the Chaser's makeshift PT boat, scoring hits on unprotected sections of hull. Fortunately, Will put enough work into the old girl that she doesn't immediately and spontaneously combust. And they're getting close-in enough that Will might actually get to experience first hand just what made the PT-Boat so dreaded in the Old Times. Naka says she's going to board them. Wait. NAKA IS GOING TO BOARD THEM!? "WHAT? NO! WHAT'RE YOU--" Too late. Naka leaps! The Chorus recoils, bobbing down into the surf and the BACK UP in a great spray of seafoam! "Augh!" Will screams, "NAKAAAA!" It's too late. Naka is in the air. Naka fires. It's a sound like BIG THUNDER GUNS. Predictably, they go right through the SPACE LUMBER that comprises the top deck of the Space Pirate Ship. Apparently, the internal decks are actually MADE OF METAL, though, and do better at resisting her guns! Still, with pirate-shaped bodies being flung through the air, away from the explosion, it looks like Naka has a CLEAR PATH into the inside of the ship! "The devil was that?" Captain Van Saturnheim asks the open air a split second before HIS ENTIRE SHIP ROCKS LIKE THE BOAT THAT IT IS. "Augh! These land-lubbers are getting on my nerves! MISTER PAULIE, WHAT IN VENUS' TITS JUST HIT US!?" "It... Appears to be a lass, cap'n. A lass with guns," says the parrot-headed pirate. "What, ONE GIRL!?" Captain Van Saturnheim growls... and twirls his tentacley beard around his prosthetic hand. A prosthetic hand... WITH HOOKS INSTEAD OF FINGERS. "Arr. I see. Prepare me sword, mister Paulie. I go to meet our... guest." Meanwhile, back on the Chorus. Will is having a BAD TIME. There are SO MANY LASERS. Less so now than a moment ago, though. He's up close, below many of the piratical firing arcs. He can't get up to the deck... Yet. But maybe he can bring the deck down to HIM. Will hammers another button. This time... torpedo tubes. Sharks are in the water.
Graf Zeppelin	TOO LATE WILL Naka blasts a hole through the top deck of this SPACE PIRATE VESSEL, and sails doooooown past the hole, landing in a heavy crouch that caused the ground to shake a bit. Hey that fleet equipment was heavy, okay? Actually one could ask how she moved so deftly with it all on in the first place, but... Nah, don't bother. The light cruiser stands up to her FULL HEIGHT OF.....not actually all that much. Oops. "Now....which way should I go....?" She leans her head aside right at that moment, as a smaller peal of green flashes past the point where it once was, kicking up a small burst of wind in the process. "......" Looking a liiiiiittle bit frazzled that she just barely sensed danger and moved, Naka turns to look in the direction that shot came from, finding all manner of crew members gathering. There is silence as multiple pirates wielding laser cutlasses and energy pistols form up loose in a perimeter around her. Oops, she was surrounded. Now what does she do? She grins. "Arrrrrr! I be Naka, scourge of the high seas! Ya made a BIG mistake comin' down here near m'base, y'hear!?" Naka. NO.
William Pauwel	What's better than a cutlass? A LASER CUTLASS, APPARENTLY. The piratical forces brandish their weapons boldly. They're all in various states of... expected disrepair. Missing teeth here, a laser peg leg there. One is even sporting an ENTIRE FLOCK of robot parrots, each one armed with BEADY LASERBEAM EYES. What kind of maniac attacks a ship full of such DASTARDLY ROGUES!? Apparantly, Naka. Naka is the answer. But then, there is ANOTHER VOICE. "Harrrrrhahahahaharrr!" It is big! It is boomy! It comes UNDERNEATH A GREAT BIG PIRATE HAT and a GLOWING LASER VISOR. "I heard tell that we had fresh-faced lass aboard, but I did not think that she was as LOVELY AS SHE WAS PIRATICAL!! Hahaharr!!" Is... Is the space squid-bearded cyber-giant pirate lord... Being charming!?!? "Unf-aarrrr-tunately, I'll have ye be payin' me back fer the damage to me ship and me crew. A'course, if ye don't have the booty, then p-arr-haps there can be other arrrrangements?" oh god no, stop. "Hahaha-ARR!?" Suddenly, there is an explosion. ...Far down below. "Hah! Hahahaha! Y'all see that!? Direct hit with a full fan!" Will says to... nobody in particular. He's alone on that boat. Completely and totally alone. His shoulders slump a little bit, despite the great big fireball unfurling just a few meters away. If CAPTAIN VAN SATURNHEIM wanted water, he's sure filling up with enough of it now. Of course, that being a spacecraft, it probably won't sink. But still! Will's close enough now, though... And Naka might need help! He taps something on the side of his visor, sending the Chorus into automatic mode. With a deft flick of his wrist, a grappling hook snakes up the side of the great pirate vessel, right up to the top deck! Now all he has to do is climb. MEANWHILE. "Harrr... I underestimated ye, lass," Captain Van Saturnheim growls, gesticulating dangerously with his TERRIBLE FIVE-HOOK-HAND. "T' attack me ship while I were distracted. Ye're AS DESPICABLE AS THEY COME! A TRUE PIRATE LADY INDEED! HAHAHAHAHARRR!" "Now, engarde with ye!" the Captain says, brandishing not one, not two, but EIGHT laser cutlasses! ONE IN EACH TENTACLE! AND a big old-timey pistol that looks like he just welded a stock and trigger to a small cannon. "Come on boys! Whoever takes her gets bonus rations fer a month! HAHAARR!" Naka would suddenly find herself beset by... a lot of pirates. And a lot of laser swords. AND A LOT OF LASER BEAMS. WHAT DO.
Graf Zeppelin	Oh my. That didn't quite pan out. WELL. She built this bridge. It was time to cross it! ...And yet, that was certainly a GIANT fellow guffawing over there. Certainly the leader of this vicious band of rogues could only look twice the part as his peers. A bead of sweat surrepitiously runs down the side of her brow at the display, and she has to remind herself to keep up the piratey accent. "Arrrr har har har!" Naka laughs, hands coming to rest upon her hips. "Yeh'll find that this here NAKA is far more than the likes of such scurvy rats such as yerselves can handle!" And then suddenly, there's an explosion that rocks the vessel. It takes the light cruiser a second to realize, oh hey that was Will, wasn't it? ...Yep. Definitely him, judging by how SURPRISED this bunch was. Naka smirks at CAPTAIN VAN SATURNHEIM'S assessment of her. But that smirk isn't there for long. Because suddenly he's brandishing FIVE, no, SIX? SEV-EIGHT LASER CUTLASSES!? Oh and a pist-CANNON!? Heeeeeeeey, Wiiiiiiill? Now would be a GREAT time to show up! Pan to the side of the ship. Will is climbing up. Damn it! Suddenly there are lasers everywhere. Laser swords, laser beams, lasers fired by robot parrots-- Naka would think it was cute if she wasn't being assaulted from all sides right now! So what's a single shipgirl to do!? Well... ...They say that pirates have one natural enemy... ...Ninjas. Naka vaults to the side, tucking forward as a bunch of lasers fly past her sides and through her legs. She lands on her hands and spins in place, kicking several cutlass wielding scallwags that tried to gang up on her, sending a couple flying back. Then she vaults upward, barely avoiding another volley of energy shots right to where she once was. Tucking into an aerial backflip, she aims all of the turrets on her fitout downwards, and then opens fire, sending explosive shells raining across the deck, as well as the force of firing without a foothold pushing her back and out of the way of another few volleys of shots. ...Wow. And yet, this was about the best she could do. Dodge rampantly and take potshots. "WILL WHERE ARE YOU!?"
William Pauwel	Whoever first asked the question: what would win, a ninja or a pirate, probably never imagined that it would play out... Like this. Laser blasts fly to and fro, filling the deck with brightly colored streaks. Nobody needs to swap their eyepatches here; it's bright enough that it's impossible for anything to remain in the dark for too long. Add to that the fact that Naka is firing EXPLODING SHELLS, and there's plenty of fire and more than enough laser to keep things nice and lit up. Which is an advantage to the pirates. Perhaps not so much to a ninja. Fortunately, the fact that there are SO MANY PIRATES means that Naka's shots find purchase more often than not. Various piratical sorts are sent flying, cartoonishly blackened by blossoming fireballs. It seems that the law of CONSERVATION OF NINJUTSU has a PIRATEY COROLLARY! But there are so many pirates. And as their numbers thin, the remaining ones seem to only get more aggressive. "Hahaharr! Scurvy rats, are we? WELL, WE AIN'T GOT NO RATS 'ERE!" Captain Van Saturnheim guffaws as he CHARGES BOLDLY AHEAD, octocutlasses swinging with unnatural skill. "We dumped those filthy mutineers off on our last pass of Ouranous! HAHAHAHARR!" BUT WHERE IS WILL!? --Outside the Ship-- ...Nothing. Did he fall off? --BACK ON THE SECOND DECK-- A shadow is cast across the flashing, laser-ridden interior. A brave silhouette stands, duster billowing heroically in the sea breeze. Three bolts of BLUE-WHITE PLASMA streak down, spearing a trio of pirates RIGHT IN THEIR LEGS. Or in one case, IN THE PSEUDOPODS. "Howdy y'all," a voice calls down, one that can belong only to ONE MAN. "Sorry it took me a while! I wanted t' set the boat right so she wouldn't sink while we were away." That's right. Now it's not just a fight between PIRATES and NINJAS. Now... Now there is also... THE COWBOY. "Harr! It was you then, was it!?" The Captain growls, flailing his beard menacingly. "The scurvy dog what blew open me poor vessel's hull!" Will grins, firing another volley. "Darn tootin'! And I got another fan of torpedos on the way! Y'all won't have a ship to stand on once we finish breachin' the hu-WHOOP." The ship rocks a second time. Will stumbles, tumbles, and... Falls right into the breach with them. The rest of the scurvy dogs are flung this way and that as the great starship begins to list-- before it abruptly stabilizes, apparantly floating over the sea, now. But then... A klaxon begins to wail. And Captain Van Saturnheim looks... distressed. "Ye darrrrmned fool," he murmurs, staring daggers into the darkness that somehow, now, seems even more... oppressive. Tenebrous. Like it were thickening, somehow. "This alarrrrt... Can only mean one thing." The great pirate lord turns, his eyes glinting dangerously in the laser light. "Ye've broken the seal. Released... The Space Ghosts." DUN DUN DUUNNNNNN
Graf Zeppelin	Hilariously, Naka manages to find the time to balk at Captain Saturnheim's proclamation regarding the rats. "WHAT!? You dumped them!? Those poor rats! How could you do such a thing, you fiendish scoundrel!?" Did she actually care, or was she just being a fool and playing dramatic in the MIDDLE OF A BATTLE!? Probably the latter. No wonder people got annoyed with her. But no seriously WHERE IS WILL? There are less pirates than before, but there are still SO MANY PIRATES! As the seconds pass, Naka begins to take damae despite her swift movements. A laser tags her leg, and she's forced to quickly correct herself and vault in a different direction. A couple of those damn robotic parrots are taken out, but the remaining few manage to tag her with their own energy beams, putting burns and tears across her fleet uniform. And those laser cutlasses! But then.... BUT THEN... THREE SHOTS RING OUT, and everything suddenly takes a turn. A turn for the better(!?). "Will...!" Naka says with a huge amount of relief, landing to the ground and skidding backwards a bit, finally able to breathe after that nonstop session of lasers and beam cutlasses. "You...you're.....YOU'RE LATE!" She yells, pointing over at him indignantly. Oops. But then, right after a quick exhange between the squidbearded fellow and our resident cowboy, the ship rocks, and the light cruiser stumbles. "Wh-Whoa!" The captain....looks distressed? Naka rights herself, brows furrowing at the mention of....of..... "...Space ghosts....!?" Her eyes widen, and she takes a step back in fear(?) "Wh-What....." Pause. A tilt of the head, and a confused expression. "...What the heck're space ghosts?" Ghosts from space obviously.
William Pauwel	Let us not mourn for the loss of the roboparrots. They fought and gave their all for the things they loved. Their crew. Their ship. Their robocrackers. What is a robocracker? A cracker that is also a robot, clearly. "AYE, SPACE GHOSTS," says CAPTAIN VON SATURNHEIM, as the shadows around them continue to thicken, almost as if twisting into tendrils of purest, blackest darkness. As dark as... the cold void of SPACE. "Servants of the one who would claim MY VERY SOUL! But I am a man whose spirit is sworn to the SPACE SEA. Yahahaharr!" "But moarrr importantly," The Captain says, levelling his literal Hand Cannon at the NINJA AND THE COWBOY. "It was you two landlubbers what caused this mess to begin with! Now you're both going to help me fix it, or I'll string ye both from the keel BY YER ANKLES and sail us through the ASTEROID BELT." Well. He did say he was a pirate lord. And there are still so many pirates around, even with Will's sharpshooting. This is a whole crew's worth, after all. "Uhhh, N-naka," Will stammers, looking a bit... pale? Is he... Pirate-o-phobic? "Naka, we should... probably do as he says." Or is it... Is he-- "N-not that I believe in ghosts or anythin' like that, but-- waugh!" Something writhes in the gloom, a swirling mass of congealed shadow like a mess of screaming, anguished faces rising from the depths of night itself. And then it takes a bolt of shining plasma right to the heads and disincorporates. Light Gun > Darkness!?!? "Hahaharr!" Captain Von Saturnheim guffaws, "Good shooting, lad! I believe that one was one of her brainstealers. Hahahaharrr!"
Graf Zeppelin	"Ahaha....haha...ha......hahaha.....space ghosts...what a silly-ACK!" The darkness gathered, forming into....SOMETHING. Something Naka could clearly, but not actually clearly see! And then she recalls the time in that DREADED TUNNEL at Amaze-o-Land.... Suddenly, all of the turrets on the light cruiser's loadout angle forward at the encroaching darkness. "OKAY WE'LL HELP! WE'LL HELP!" And with a burst, she opened fire frantically, letting those shells sail forward at high speed and with total impunity. NOPE. NO GHOSTS! NOT EVEN SPACE GHOSTS! Blam blam blam! She just opens fire on the darkness, not about to find out what happens if it gets too close. NO THANK YOU. ...What? Naka was totally not afraid of ghosts, you hear? But... "WHAT'S A BRAINSTEALER? DOES IT STEAL BRAINS!? WHY!?" Sigh.
William Pauwel	Naka FIRES CANNONS AT THE DARKNESS. She accidentally angers a Gr-- wait no wrong game "Hahaharr, well you see. A brainstealer does not actually steal brains. It just enters people's heads and turns them into SPACE ZOMBIES. So be careful, unless you want to be a slave to the darkness FOR ALL ETERNITY! Yarrharharharrr!" Well. That's nice. But it does seem that Captain Von Saturnheim HAS HIS VOLUNTEERS. So what does he do with the rest of these space-scurvy-ridden scallywags? "Alright me hearties, listen up! While I and these BRAVE VOLUNTEERS attend to our newest ghost infestation, I need all ye to GET YE OUT A'FORE YE GET PROPERLY ZOMBIFIED! Because THEN I'd have to GIBB YE. Hahahaharr!" At least he's... Kind of nice to his crew? "Come on then," he says to Naka and Will, who are probably NOT THE BEST CHOICES when dealing with a haunted ghost ship. "The wench will be down belowdecks. Follow along and keep yer eyes keen. Don't want a Soulmuncher sneakin' up on us. Hahahaarrrr!"
William Pauwel	"AYE, SOULMUNCHERS!" Captain Von Saturnheim guffaws as he sets down a nearby corridor. "Terrible creatures with claws forged of the BLACKNESS BETWEEN STARS and teeth like GNASHING OBSIDIAN QUASARS. They'll munch the soul right out of yer body, hahaharr! And they like to sneak up on you--" Suddenly the captain turns and fires his cannon at... The darkness? WAS THERE EVEN ANYTHING THERE? "Just like tha'! Hahaharr! But it'll take more than a Soulmuncher to take down old Alphador." There's clearly nothing where he had shot that EXPLODING CANNONBALL. Or maybe-- maybe that's how they GET YOU!? Will looks unnerved. Twitchy. Almost like he's expecting something, ANYTHING, to jump out of the shadows and EAT HIS TASTY SPIRIT. Something from the murky depths, something dripping with darkness and seawater, hatred and spite for the still-living. "W-what did you even do to get your ship haunted!? How does this even HAPPEN!?" "Harr, well," Captain Von Saturnheim murmurs as the darkness only thickens around them. His cutlasses provide quite a bit of light themselves, but even they seem... smothered, dulled. "I made a... deal, y'see. Swore that I'd serve another for me life. And then they died, y'see, and didn't think that the deal should end when they were dead. Hahaharrr." "And that's how I got haunted. Weren't my fault, y'see. And I had it dealt with! Until somebody broke the lock on the cage." (It was Will. It's all Will's fault.) The trip down into the belly of the beast is... Disturbing. Shadows dance on the walls, congealing into wailing faces and nightmarish, gnashing maws. Creatures like ancient, lizard-brain horrors with green pyreflame eyes creep along the walls and leap out from the darkness, chasing them always, ALWAYS deeper, deeper, deeper into the hold. And then they come to... A door. "Aye, this should be the way," Captain Alphador says with a grim growl, even the sound of his voice dull from the oppressive, crushing doom. "Past here is that damn harpy's hold. Harr. Steel yerselves well! Do not fear... THE END. HARHARRHARHARHAR!" Well, that's not ominous.
Graf Zeppelin	"........." Space zombies. Naka's whole demeanor turns wooden. "S-Space zombies..." She utters, just standing there in place after letting loose her volley of artillery. How much ammo does she have left? Hopefully enough to deal with this madness. Aw man, this guy is kind of cool though. Telling his crew to get out while he went into the HEART OF MATTERS. "Soulmunchers..." Naka mumbles again as the three head down the corridor to...handle whatever it is, they've got to handle. Captain Von Saturnheim's explanation earns him a shiver from the girl and she becomes even more paranoid, eyes darting this way and that suspiciously. Didn't want a Soulmuncher to- "WHA!" Naka JUMPS once the captain spins and fires into the darkness! But....nothing was there? She squinted at the dark, and then at him. "But there's nothing there!" Unless these Soulmunchers were...INVISIBLE!? Now well and truly at the height of paranoia, Naka sticks close to Will, moving alongside him as he asks why the heck this place even got haunted in the first place. Aha, so a deal from when someone was living passed on to after they died, and now they were haunting him. AND SOMEONE BROKE THE THING. Naka pointedly looks at Will. But oh man, oh man, this place is super creepy. This was supposed to just be a regular ol clean up the pirate counter raid! So why are they hunting ghosts now!? And then finally, they come to a door, and Saturnheim speaks. "T-The End!? Harpy?" She stares at the door warily, the turrets on her fitout shifting as if ready to fire at a moment's notice. What in the world is down there!? Only one way to find out. "W-Will? If I die, n-never forget who I was... Everyone's Favorite Fleet Idol, N-Naka-chan!" Naka no.
William Pauwel	"Naka, no! This can't possibly be that bad! I mean, who even heard of a thing that wasn't even alive taking over somebody's brain!? That's just an old wive's tale they tell to scare kids!" THEN WHY ARE YOUR LEGS SHAKING, WILLIAM PAUWEL. Captain Von Saturnheim throws open the door. What lies beyond is... a wall of pure, inky blackness. And then it EXPLODES. An unearthly wail screams out from the depths of the ichorous dark. Will screams, desperately covering his ears as the murk consumes his vision and swallows up ALL THE WORLD. When at last it fades, it's only by the eerie emerald glow of several dozen pyrelit eyes. Eyes belonging to... Shambling, too-stiff bodies of far and distant aliens. "Harr! She's claimed me mates!" Captain Von Saturnheim growls. One particularly parroty pirate groans and staggers out of the darkness. Alphador growls, full of hate, "No! Not Mister Paulie! You waterlogged harlot, get ye out, stand and deliver!" The darkness at the very end of the room seems to... congeal. Pyreflame and shadow mingle and flow together, manifesting into delicate, but elegant fingers, around one of which is wrapped an old, silvery band. A hand follows, then the rest of her body, manifesting gracefully from the murk. Shadows swirl up, swathing a form of fiery, emerald ectoplasm like a particularly well-fitted dress. "Ah, Alphador," her voice purrs, reverberating a bizarrely warm note over the legion of zombies and the... awful, shadowy BEASTS that rise between their ranks. "I see your tastes are shifting..." her eyes slide over towards Naka, "...Younger, these days. A pity. Am I not good enough anymore~?" Her eyelids flutter... playfully. Alphador growls. "Ye release me men right now, Eliza. Or by the seven space sea gods, I will take them back meself!" "Ohh? How forceful~" The ghost leans back, crossing a pair of spectral legs, "With what army? These... Children?" Oh dear. They seem to have... history.
Graf Zeppelin	"But Will! Will, he said it, so it must be true!" Naka no. Don't just belive what other people-WHOOOOOA... The door is thrown open, and inside is.... is...darkness. Darkness as far as the eye can see. And then there's the SCREAMS. Naka covers her ears and turns away, just waiting for everything to end, along with her, just as she had said. But... it doesn't end? Instead, there are a whole host of... "H-Hey, aren't those guys...?" His crew? Yes, yes they were. So they failed to get away after all. Well that was a shame. She didn't want to shoot them down! ...Well, nevermind the fact that she was doing just that earlier, BUT THINGS WERE DIFFERENT NOW. There were ghosts! And brainstealers! And soulmunchers! And...and that thing coalescing in the back! Actually, what WAS that? Naka squinted into the darkness and tried to make out the form building up there. It was...some sort of woman? And she addresses the captain by first name! They have a history. Oh boy. And on top of that, she seems to have the wrong idea. Naka smiles weakly and gesture to herself "T-That's not right! As Paragon of Love and Peace, Naka doesn't just belong to any one person! I need to be free so that I can show everyone true happiness!" ...Not something you should tell the dead probably. "...B-but you should probably let those guys go! It's not like they did anything to you, right?" And despite saying that, she seems to look ready to act, her guns all angled forward and into the chamber, just waiting to see how things panned out. Was she going to have to shoot? ...Would she be able to even hurt ghosts!?
William Pauwel	NO NAKA. NOT EVERYTHING YOU'RE TOLD IS THE TRUTH. "Let them go? Just after my glorious return? Oh non non non, I must have my DUE, youngling. After all, Alphie pledged himself to me~ and so what is his is also MINE~!" The spirit chortles, leaning over slightly to receive a glass of vaguely... ectoplasmic wine from a 'loyal' servant. "You and I both know that that deal was only good 'till death, you ungrateful harpy," Alphador gnashes his teeth, he CLENCHES HIS HOOK-FINGERED HAND. "We be freebooters now! The flag we sail under means FREEDOM!" Will, for his part, looks... pale. And a bit wide eyed. WHY DO ALL THE CRIMINALS IN HIS LIFE HAVE TO BE KIND OF COOL. "H-he's right! What yer doing to all these people just ain't natural! But we don't have to... You know, take away their free will to make them listen! You could've just... Paid them, or something?" "Yarr. There are some things more important to a pirate than money, laddie," Captain Von Saturnheim says, puffing out his chest. "Ideals like freedom! And adventure! Dreams of vast fortune and seein' YER FOES DASHED AGAINST THE ROCKS! HAR!" "Ah, Alphie," the ghost croons, "Such a silly boy, even after all these years. Hmhmhm~ I did always love that wonderful spirit of yours, buuuut~ no. Ask me again after I've had my fill, will you?" Then, Naka... Makes her proclamation. Mirthful, eerily flame-lit eyes stare allll the way from across the room right into Naka's own. This... 'Eliza' seems to be staring DIRECTLY INTO HER SOUL. Or perhaps, even deeper. Down, possibly, into the deepest, darkest corners of her heart. And then, the ghost... laughs? "Ohhh~hohohohoho~<3" oh god she's got an ojou laugh "My my my my, you're just adorable, aren't you? Paragon of Love and Peace, belonging to the whole world? Oh dear," the witch sighs, reclining into what appears to be a GHOSTLY OTTOMAN. "Girls weren't nearly so... relaxed with their affections when I was last awake. You really must be more careful who you give yourself to, young lady. If you leave your heart open like that, you never know what might sneak in~" And as if on cue... Something emerges from the shadows just over Naka's shoulder and begins reeeaaaaaaching for her head. OH NO NAKA, IT'S-- IT'S ONE OF... /THEM/ And it's-- Wearing her face. Her face, but with a wicked grin in stark contrast to Naka's usual smile-- and a pair of pale, green lights in the shadowy simulacrums that leap from the depths of her counterpart's eyes. Sharp, wedge-shaped teeth in a sharktoothed smile which part only to unleash a goosebump-raising giggle. Fingertips decorated with sharpened, jet-black nails. Almost like the memory of... another life. WHAT DO NAKA.
Graf Zeppelin	Damn it. This ol seafaring squidmeister was...was kind of cool! With all his talk of freedom and ideals and hard grit! B-But this was definitely not the time to be getting caught thinking about that, considering everything ELSE that's going on right now. And then Naka makes her proclamation. And Eliza staaaaaares at her. Their eyes meet, and Naka's smile slowly, gradually gets less and less confident, until she's taking a step back. "Ah...haha...hahaha...." And then she laughs nervously, paired with the ghostly woman's own amused one. "N-No one's sneaking into my heart!" She says, pressing a hand to her chest and nodding quickly. Yeah! Really, who's sneaking in? But then she has a VERY ODD feeling located directly behind her. "...Eh?" She turns and looks only to find....to find... HERSELF? Naka freezes and stares wide eyed and this...THING that has her face. Or some gross approximation of it. It....it's actually deeply, scarily like looking into a mirror...a dark mirror that seems so, so familiar. "......" So much so, that rather than scream or scramble away, she winds up just standing there wide-eyed, letting the thing reach for her head, and possibly even grasp it.
William Pauwel	Truly, if there is evil in this world, it lies within the heart of mankind. Or in this case... ship-kind? Naka freezes, and the thing-- the spectre of what could have been, grins only more wickedly. Its hands slide down the frame of her face, palms cupping almost... gently at her cheeks. Fingernails dig deceptively delicate points into the back of her head. But this is a ghost- a spirit- nothing merely physical. Those tips don't just meet flesh, they slide inwards, anchoring knucle-deep into Naka's skull. And then the... the thing leans in, lips parted, as if to-- No. It makes contact, and Naka can feel the thing dissociate into a cloud of fog or a wave of sludge or simply living shadow, but it doesn't go away. It's trying to bleed into her. To stain her mind and soul in the colors of the ghostly mastermind at the back of the room. It's like a flood of darkness that washes over her consciousness, but is at once distressing and invasive as it is... warm and comforting? Like a dark, awful, unnaturally soothing lullaby from a deep, distant place. But then... streaks of light. Something grabs hold. A voice yells-- "NAKA!" Will roars, the Solano blazing like it were some kind of beacon in the darkness. A lighthouse, except instead of light, it shoots DEADLY PLASMA. The bolts streak through what shadow remains outside of Naka's body, tearing through the darkness in great, searing lances. "Get the hell out of her you monster! Leave her alone!" There's something else, too. A great, hooked claw seizing hold of the darkness at its very periphery. It glows with old, nightmarish runes, like something not only from the depths of the sea but also from beyond the darkness between the furthest stars. The old captain has... grabbed hold of the shadow, keeping it from progressing further-- at least for the moment. "Come on lass," he growls, grip tightening, "It's nae too late. You can still fight it out." Meanwhile, at the back of the room, a spirit... laughs. The vengeful ghost queen's voice is high and melodious and somehow also terribly, incredibly menacing. "See? Something can just sneak right in, if you're not paying attention~" She drains her glass of spectral wine and... casually tosses it away, shattering into countless vanishing pieces. She replaces it with a-- ...A ghostly microphone. "Now then," she croons, "Shall we get on with the show?" "Oh seven highwater hells," Von Saturnheim growls, "I SWEAR WOMAN, I WILL COME OVER THERE AND--" "Ohhhhh~" oh God she's singing. Oh god all the zombies are starting to assemble into dance lines. "It's close to miiidnight~ And something evil's lurking in the dark~" QUICK NAKA, YOU NEED TO COUNTERSONG.
Graf Zeppelin	Naka is stock still as the ghostly presence similar to herself seems to seep in and grasp her mind directly, nearly- FWOOSH. Suddenly, there's light, and the light cruiser snaps back to attention. "....!" She blinks quickly, and then looks left and right, returning to reality. "WHa-...huh? What just....?" Naka mutters in confusion. And then the ghost queen at the back of the room laughs, drawing the shipgirl's attention. "Sneak in? That was... that was low!" She still isn't quite sure what happened, but... there's a niggling feeling in her mind that just won't go away now. And then the singing starts. ...No. She's singing!? And the zombies are dancing!? What in the nine hells is going on here? Naka blinks, honestly dumbfounded at this turn of events. And yet... And yet, there was no way that she would let this challenge go unanwered. She smirks confidently, and hits a button on her fitout, causing a compartment to open wiith a microphone. No way was someone going to sing in their presence to their doom! Not while she was on watch! Naka may not have undead backup dancers, but that was fine! She brings the mic close and opens her mouth...and starts. A beat echos from speakers hidden in her equipment and she counters! "The wind blows hard in December..." "Our last fight, do you remember?" "Counting the days, since we left..." "You and I, slipping away..." Did this...did this become BATTLE OF THE BANDS!?
William Pauwel	It feels as though something... slimy is ripped right off of Naka's everything. Captain Von Saturnheim unleashes an indignant roar at the thing trapped in his MIGHTY CLUTCHES and squeezes his hand tight. Red light erupts from his grasp, incinerating the spirit in a cataclysmic, crimson flash. "Naka, you're okay!" Or at least, she looks okay. Will is fine with that-- at least for now. "We've got problems! A whole... lot of problems." A whole lot of dancing problems. Will frowns, but then-- THEN! THEN NAKA POPS OUT A MICROPHONE. THEN NAKA STARTS SINGING. OH MAN, IT'S A PROPER DANCEFIGHT NOW. The only way this could get more appropriate is if there were banjos involved. But that would be a totally different genre, and Will didn't bring his, so that'll just have to wait for the next time. Queen Eliza's eyes tighten slightly at this song that dares to infringe upon her own. But she doesn't exactly seem... unhappy. There's a flicker of mirth in the depths of her stare. The zombified legion marches forth, still coordinated as they must be-- but less so now that they have two beats they need to dance to! And that gives Will and Von Saturnheim plenty of room to dig in deep and start knocking heads around. But while these things ARE zombies, they're still technically alive. Just... mind-controlled. Juju zombies, not living-dead zombies. Will tries his best to aim the Solano's SEARING LIGHT down avenues of shadowy spirits rather than taking aim at the distinctly pale, but still fleshy (or feathery, or scaly) alien crew. That's Captain Von Saturnheim's job. Because he sure as hell doesn't care about beating a few skulls in with his giant claw, or about firing cannonballs downwind that blossom into cartoonish explosions. But they still need to cross the room to get to the bottom of this mess, and THAT means dealing with PERFECTLY SYNCHRONIZED LASER BEAMS. LASERS EVERYWHERE. IS THIS DISCO!?
Graf Zeppelin	Banjos? Whoa now, let's not get TOO crazy here. The stakes ramp up! The zombie legion advances, and two songs collide! Naka smiles confidently between lines, never one to be scared during a performance. This was her element! This is what she lived for! ...Wait, Naka, aren't you the ressurected incarnation of a world war II light cruiser? Shut up, no one asked you! And the lines keep coming, even as Will and Captain Von Saturnheim dive into the fray. She stands back and sings, pointing forward and letting her voice and words clash headlong against Eliza's through them, there's one clear message. 'You are not going to beat me when it comes to song!' N-Nevermind all the lasers. She'll take a few hits to keep this going! Grin and bear it! A soak in the docks will follow later. ...A long loooong soak.
William Pauwel	There does not exist a situation that cannot be improved with MORE BANJO. It's just fact. Cold, hard, cruel, bonejangling fact. Two songs clash! A cowboy and a pirate take on a legion of ZOMBIE PIRATES and SPACE GHOSTS as a Battleship Ninja sings her heart out against the voice of an UNDEAD SIREN. Lasers stream in from all angles, scorching skin and sucking right into UNNATURALLY BLACK ARMOR PLATES. Will still ends up more burnt than he aught to be, and Captain Von Saturnheim is set at partially aflame AT LEAST TWICE. But as Naka's song declares, there is nobody who can beat her at song. At least, not when she has BATTLESHIP GRADE LOUDSPEAKERS. Slowly, surely, the line is pressed back, and even Eliza's BIZARRELY CATCHY TUNE can't keep up against an auditory onslaught like the one Naka is unleashing. One by one, ghosts are banished and zombies are knocked unconscious, until at last, all that's left is... One. "It's ovarrrrr, Eliza," Von Saturnheim drawls, his hand aglow with that TERRIBLE RED LIGHT. His hat is... still on fire. As is part of his waistcoat. "Time foarrrrr you to settle down and leave the living alone." Eliza stares daggers into Von Saturnheim's steely glare. She tightens her eyes. He sets his frown. She grits her teeth, he crosses his arms. She... Huffs and pouts and looks just about as petulant as your average teenager. "Hmph! It's always the same with you. Never a single fun bone in your body, even after all these years. I should have listened to father when he told me you were unmarryable!" Oh. ...Oh. "Yarrr, Eliza, you know you don't mean that," Captain Von Saturnheim sighs. Will just sort of... Stares between them. What the hell kind of marriage is this even? "It's just that ye're mostly incorporeal now, and ye've sort of gone mad in yer long undeath, but that don't mean I don't still love ye, just--" "Everytime you wake up, it's always..." He gestures, "This! Always with the song and the dance and makin' me knock out me mates! Fifth crew we've had t' replace 'cause of that." ...Issues.
Graf Zeppelin	Naka blinks. Naka blinks some more. Naka watches as these two have their little lover's spat. Something about undeath, marriage, fifth crew they've had to replace... And then a hand comes up to her mouth and she bursts out laughing. "Pfffbthahahahahaha!" Oh man. She hurt all over, and had been scared out of her wits, and somehow wound up singing and dancing, and... What was even happening anymore? She didn't know. She just laughed. "You...you two...so this was all...! Ahahahaha!" The shipgirl sunk to her knees and just deflated entirely. "Haaaa.....I don't even know anymore!" Naka droned, feeling all the adrenaline and energy leaving her body after that display. "So....are we....this is done now?" She raised her head, sucking in a long breath and then sighing once again. "This was...the craziest patrol I've ever been on!"
William Pauwel	TURNS OUT SPACE PIRATES HAVE LOVER'S SPATS TOO. WHO'D'A THUNK. Naka's bout of uncontrollable giggles attracts stares from all three of the other people who're still in various stages of consciousness. Will just sort of looks distantly confused and altogether befuddled. Eliza's pout somehow goes even MORE severe, and Alphador... makes a face that actually comes off as embarrassed. Somehow. In his own, squiddy way. "Aye lass, I think this about does it," Alphador grumbles, offering a clawed hand to his (spectral) bethroed. She sort of slumps her shoulders and slips her own hand into his. "You know, I wouldn't get so... antsy if you'd just come down here to see me more often," Eliza sniffles. Ghosts can get wispy eyed, apparently. Huh. "I'll think about it," Captain Von Saturnheim answers in that way that husbands do that says that they'll probably do it but they're TRYING TO LOOK TOUGH AND MANLY IN FRONT OF THE GUYS, GOD. His claws close around the ring on her ghostly fingers, squeezing tight as the wisps of ghostfire and shadow ebb away again. "Harrr, that settles that then, I suppose." "I am so confused right now," Will mutters, still rubbing his head like he were suffering from THE WORST HANGOVER. "Wasn't... Wasn't this just supposed to be an ordinary patrol?" SURE WAS, but the fates decided it wasn't going to be. "Harr, I do apologize for such a rude intarrruption of ourrrr GLORIOUS BATTLE. Parrhaps we should pick up this great battle between LAW AND OUTLAW anotharrr time, when me crew is less... unconscious. Harr. I'll even treat ye all to me special rum, what d'ye say?" WHAT D'YE SAY
Graf Zeppelin	Naka manages to drag herself up to her feet and smiles cheerfully. Tired, but cheerful. "Sure! Sounds like a plan!" What? She's well over the drinking age! That in mind, and with all of this confusion finally seeming to have settled into some semblance of sense, the light cruiser steps forward and grabs Will by the arm, with the intent to drag him off. "ALRIGHT, SPECIAL RUM AHOY!" The shipgirl bellows, pointing dramatically off towards nowhere in perticular. This will end perfectly well.
William Pauwel	"HAHAHARR, THAT'S THE SPIRIT!" Alphador guffaws, wrapping an arm around Will's OTHER SIDE. "Come now, ye scurvy dogs! We'll drink until the sun comes up again! Yarrharrharrharr!" YEP. NO WAY THIS CAN POSSIBLY GO WRONG.