Scene #3942: A Very Fluffy Mission

Owner	Pose
Yari Takane	Welcome to Ye Olde Farming Village, number FarTooMany in the Planetary Plains. It's seemingly idylic, avoiding multiversal politics in general by selling to other local villages of various stripes. The soil is good, but not worth killing over. Those living here have families stretching back absurdly long, practically peasant royalty, with the occasional multiversal newcomer retiring to join the farming community. Food, livestock, and other goods are grown here. So why would both factions be receiving odd orders to get inside one particular barn? The order: get in without suspicion, and...sheer the sheep inside!? There's precious little other details about the mission. On the Fed side? Yari Takane had to read her orders twice. Then she simply decided Lu-Mey was screwing with her again. With a shrug, she's gathered her compatriots (and those who might otherwise get into the village through their own means) and set out. Along the country road leading to the big double-doored red-and-white target barn, Yari is in jeans, a shirt, and coveralls with a straw hat over her horns and a piece of straw in her teeth as she drives the tractor currently belching purple smoke out of the back. It was a Fed loner. This tractor may or may not be powered by the souls of lost puppies. "...Does anyone else want to start bets on whether this is some kind of joke from Command?" She whispers to her fellow Feds on the tractor.
Sanary Rondel	"Hey, as long as they're paying? I'll take this joke mission over getting shot with lightning any day." Sanary replies with a relaxed chuckle, lounging back on the tractor beside Yari in a rather simple (yet area-appropriate) outfit consisting of a yellow t-shirt and denim suspenders. "Besides, shearing sheep sounds nice. It's been a long while since I've been anywhere near them and not been... Er." Don't say stealing. Don't say stealing. "... Rounding them up." Close enough. "And it's good to make sure the army's ready for this sort of thing. If we know how to do this, we can rebuild things better once the war actually ends. Er. If it does." She doesn't sound quite as convinced about that last part. At least its a valuable skill to have, and Sanary's even made sure to bring some backup shears of her own in the oversized front and back pockets of her suspenders!
Inga Freyjasdottir	Out of sheer (heh) curiousity, Inga got directions to the place and arrived through the gate, finding herself actually on a farm. She half expected this to be some kind of strange code for something else. Maybe it still was. But, maybe, just maybe, someone was willing to pay her to do something she already knew how to do and would prove relatively easy. And sheep are adorable! But you know what they say about things that seem too good to be true. Inga approaches Sanary and Yari, staff in hand, wrapped in a light blue cloak over her usual apron style viking dress. "Yari, Sanaray," she says, grinning. "Is this...actually what it appears to be?" she asks. Apparently, there was to be sneaking involved. You would not know it to look at her, but Inga had her ways of stealth and they were generally quite effective.
Dorian Pavus	How Dorian heard about this little... endeavor is anyone's guess. Why he decided to come along is even more mysterious! Maybe he decided to make certain none of the sheep would be harmed unnecessarily? Maybe he was just curious. Whatever the reason, he's come along with the group. He's not in his usual armor. This time, while what he's wearing is very close to his normal leather armor, it has two main differences.B One, the leather has been stained a dark, smoky black. And two, the metal reinforcement pieces have been coated with a patina to avoid them catching the light and glinting. He wears a dark blue cloak in place of his white, though his dragon-headed staff accompanies him as always. He too is on the tractor, looking ruefully at the dark smoke it's belching out. "I fail to see how something this loud is going to help us in sneaking in," he notes. "We may want to aproach on foot at some point. It might be quieter."
Yari Takane	There's a small sigh from the ninja. "...Maybe you're right. A break from assured lethality is nice. Maybe this is some strange form of vacation." She, after a moment, manages to visibly relax. Soon enough, she's whistling an old marching song. But not before raising a ridged eyebrow. "Somehow, imagining you with fluffy sheep is not as difficult as one might think. I have nothing against some honest work." For once. One eye closes. Yari openly smiles. "And who better to teach us bloodthirsty idiots such skills than you, hmm?" Reach. Nosepoke right on Sanary! Somehow, despite her own doubts, hearing such optimism sets Yari at ease. At least, until a familiar figure makes herself known. A quick glance at Sanary, then back at Inga. Inga might be an enemy, at least by the rules of war, but attacking her here would only cause unneeded trouble. This /is/ a stealth mission. "...Miss Inga. I didn't imagine I would see you here." She smiles, but it's not quite as pleased as she'd give in Dun Realtai. Especially when she goes and says those words. Sigh. "Not that I ascribe to any barbarian superstitions, but, you really shouldn't say things like that out loud. Hop on. I would rather get this over with, without trouble. Agreed, Captain?" A small salute to Sanary here as she puts on her soldier pants. Dorian she doesn't have to worry about war with. "Mister Pavus. I'd normally agree, but apparently the villagers are used to tractors like this. Well mostly." Again, that smoke might be made with souls. Darn Feds! With the gang all gathered aboard the tractor, one quick trip later, they're at the barn. It's about as nondescript as you can get: big, wooden, classic red-and-white. Yari pauses, taps a few buttons on her wristlet. The readout shows ten signatures: all animals. Sheep, to be exact. "Be cautious, but we might just actually be sheep sheering." Yoink. One open set of barn doors later, and there's ten fluffy sheep amidst a lot of hay and various farm tools. Yari looks around, fingering a kunai in her pants...five minutes later, and there's no destruction, no death. Sigh. Out come the sheers. "I always did want to try my hand at tailoring." Snip snip. At first, the sheering process is just that. One sheep apiece, there's fluffy wool into various bags or containers. The sheep give cute baah's and cooperate! Then the next set. Inga has a barely adult sheep gently head-bump her affectionately! Briefly, Yari gets bowled over as she inexpertly sheers, another young sheep using her as a couch before she manages to slide out from beneath. Clip clip. She even pauses to give the sheep belly rubs as it falls asleep! Sanary has one sheep walk up and lick her right on the face. Sluuuuurp! Dorian, luckily, suffers not this sheepy embarrassment. That wool does stick to his clothing. It's the last few sheep that prove the problem. The final four sheep as they're approached turn to the group. Their eyes are oddly glassy. And then they open their mouth. Long metallic rotaries appear. Multi-barreled chain-guns begin to fire at the Elites gathered as the sheep's eyes glow red. High-powered bullets fire at the group! Yari leaps away, her side and leg tagged as even she is caught in the sheepy surprise attack! "Baaaaah! Kiiiiillll! Baaaaaah!" Come their robotic voices!
Sanary Rondel	"A vacation... That sounds pretty nice, too. And... Y-you think?" Sanary actually sounds somewhat bashful at being pictured around sheep, although the mental image isn't quite that unpleasant. Fluffy wool to nestle on, tender meat to devour... Would that have been her life in an alternate world? Hearing a familiar voice approaching their tractor, Sanary turns around to give Inga a light wave. "Hey, Inga. Uh... Yep, I think so. You got the call, too?" The healer chuckles and flicks one of the shears out of her pockets, giving it a brief twirl before slipping it back inside casually. Nobody needs to know that she practiced that for about two hours prior to showing up today. Inga's and Dorian's comments about stealth draw a low hum from the cleric, and she chuckles again at Yari's retort. "Definitely not the sort of thing I'm used to, but... I can see how these would be really useful for farmers." Not that she would know. Sanary's a rancher, not a farmer! Once the group reaches the barn proper, Sanary too is prepared for a fight as she pulls a gray brick-like object out of one pocket. When it's apparent that said fighting isn't going to happen, though, she relaxes and gets to work! "Gently, remember. No sudden movements." She chimes, actually seeming to enjoy herself as she gets to work and the one sheep licks her face. Sanary's clearly done this before and is well in her element, and she even makes a point to face her three companions for today to show them the proper technique! It's when those four sheep start doing distinctly un-sheeplike things, however, that Sanary's forced to actually move fast. "Heads down!" She calls out as the guns begin firing, biting her lip to keep from crying out when the initial volley of bullets draws blood across her arms and midsection. She didn't even try to dodge that, did she? Not while there's other Elites and sheep that could get hit somewhere behind her! Instead, Sanary picks up that first brick and focuses her energy around that magical gray rectangle. More steel-like bricks begin to form, piling together into a makeshift shield as she tries to create some sort of actual cover from that hail of bullets!
Inga Freyjasdottir	Inga looks puzzled by Yari's wary greeting. Had she missed something. "Superstitions?" she asks, completely puzzled. All she had done was comment on the apparently silliness of the situation. She seems completely baffled by her cold reception. "Very well," she said, and hops on the tractor. "Evening Dorian," she greets with a smile, vaguely wondering if she'd offended people in some way that she didn't remember. Odd. Once into the barn, Inga begins sheering the sheep. The adult sheep that she tries her hand at first is placid and affectionate in a sheep sort of way, and Inga does a quick, neat job of the sheering. She wondered if she could take home any of the wool to card and spin. She could use some more wool. Inga smiles. Just a pleasant sheering by night. Her smile slips as she gets a feeling, a sudden omen, turning in time to find that SHEEP ROBOTS are shooting at them! The first thing she thinks of, oddly enough, is protecting the poor real sheep. Hopefully, they run. She tries to shoo them out while also trying not to get shot. Inga sighs, ducking behind a bale of hay. That likely wouldn't stop bullets well. "Of course. Killer sheep. Why not?" she complains. She lets out a small cry as a bullet hits her in her left arm, lodging somewhere inside, chipping the bone. It bleeds. A lot. But that's alright. Inga, teeth clenched, holds a hand over the wound and the blood quickly rises, pooling in the air until she disperses it into a fin crimson mist that surrounds her with a protective barrier. Sanary gets up a shield, very useful, that. Inga smiles to her gratefully. She looks down at her arm, wincing. Would the bullet fall out, or would she have to dig for it? The wound was already beginning to lessen. It would close within minutes. May as well use the blood while she had it. She flicks out another blood-barrier to Dorian. This is Inga's kind of blood magic.
Dorian Pavus	"You have a point," Dorian acknowledges. "Not unseen, but unnoticed." He quiets, sensing for threats as the tractor approaches. Presumably he finds none, and the group make it to the barn without much issue. Shearing takes place, and it all seems rather normal. Dorian did bring a pair of shears with him. They are surprisingly mundane for a mage. But then again, magic can't solve '''everything''', can it? Dorian looks quite ridiculous quite quickly, seeing as he's worn all this dark clothing and the wool is (presumably) white. He looks at himself and makes a face. "I'm going to be all night getting this out," he mutters. Who is he kidding? He'll probably send it for proper cleaning anyway. He listens to Sanary's advice on the animals-- in fact he'll probably ask her several more questions before all's said and done. And then they're down to the four. It's become routine now. Unfortunately what is most definitely '''not''' routine is when the remaining sheep start '''shooting at them'''. Dorian's quite close, there's no time for him to dodge. He raises an arm in surprise, figuring it to be an ineffectual means of defending himself. He has an uncomfortable moment of thinking he might end up dying here, to robotic sheep. Maker, that would be a horrible thing to put on his gravestone, wouldn't it...? But then it's Inga to the rescue! Her blood barrier comes up just in time to keep him from getting made hole-y! He's not quite ready to greet Andraste just yet. He looks to Inga with a nod of thanks, and then adds to the cover with a Barrier.
Yari Takane	"Definitely." Reassures Yari. Rancher, Farmer, they're all the same to her! Still, the confidence in her eyes is clear. The only real agriculturalist and sheepist around is truly Sanary! Snip! Snip! Slowly and gently! She follows Sanary's and Inga's lead! Sanary proves excellent at forming shielding, as the follow-up volley largely clatters against conjured brick-steel. So too does Inga prove useful, as even wounded, her very life's blood splatters into a shield! The remaining sheep all bleet and flee smartly, perhaps more smartly than the Elites assembled! The 'civilians are out of the barn! Still, Inga's reaction earns an even odder one from Yari. There's a narrowing of eyes, then pure confusion. Yup. You've missed something important, Inga. No time for that now, however, as bullets clatter against blood-magic-and-brick-sheilds. Yari leaps between volleys, using both shields as cover, and lashes out with a set of kunai. The sheep are utterly pummeled, and then explosive tags go off! There's bits of robotic sheep everywhere! She glances to the others. "...I think we can count this as a joint mission at this point." Inga might just have a slight clue as to Yari's ways earlier. Also there might be an IOU card in her pocket. Damn ninjas. There's a shudder to the barn as the final robo-sheep are put down. Yari dodges, even as the main floor of the barn moves away to reveal a deep hole! The sound of machinery grinds, and a thin figure atop a most vile steed emerges! A thin man in a lab coat gives a laugh worthy of any cartoon villain. "So you Superfactions have discovered my hideout! I am Doctor von Sheepington! You cast me out from your realms of multiversal science, and now you shall know my power! GO! DOOMSHEEP 5000! KILL THEM ALL AND PROVE SHEEP SCIENCE IMMORTAL! AHHH HAH HAH HAHHHH!" Beneath him is a nearly barn-sized robotic sheep all clad in metal. It's unblinking sheepy eyes peer at those below as it staggers forth, bleeting mechanically as it's big sheep feet try to crush the gathered Elites! There's a pair of projectiles tossed at the thing! Yari tosses smoke bombs into it's eye-sensors! Bleeeet! It's mouth still opens, and a gigantic laser-cannon heats up, gathering energy for a blast! That cannon is easily the size of the tallest amongst the group! Yari manages to yell out! "Destroy that fake sheep!" Her teeth grit. "Th...that thing is not even fluffy! Not a real sheep at all!" Someone might have added 'sheep' along with 'turtles' today to her 'favorite animal' category.
Sanary Rondel	"Freaking... What was even the point of this?!" Sanary shouts in frustration as she piles more and more bricks together, practically building a small wall just to have extra insurance against further bullets from those robo-sheep. It also gives her an opportunity to try and heal up some of the bullet holes where the bullets just went right through, and she even directs some of that healing magic towards her companions to make sure they're not left bleeding all over the place. It's when the very ground starts shifting that Sanary's forced to move, backing away rapidly while the waist-high wall of bricks clunks and clatters along behind her as if dragged by an invisible force. She just stares with her mouth agape as the scientist with the giant robot sheep emerges, a look of /sheer/ disbelief on the cleric's face. "... I don't know you. How does your plan even work?" Sanary responds rather flatly, looking a mite too irritated to give him more of an energized response. Instead, she just resumes retreating to keep herself from getting smushed by those giant feet, although she does send some of those bricks scattering along the ground to create some uneven terrain for the mechanical monstrosity! As that cannon opens, meanwhile, Sanary even focuses more energy into some of the existing bricks to fling them upwards, trying to divert some of that oncoming blast via clogging!
Inga Freyjasdottir	That cannon? Bigger than the petite wisewoman. She wants nothing to do with that! Inga's eyes widen as she looks to Yari, nodding. The wheels are turning in her head. She's putting the pieces together, but now isn't the time to talk about that business. Now is the time to get the heck out of the way of this crazy idiot and his giant robot sheep. "Is...this really happening?" she groans, struggling to get to her feet in order to NOT be stepped on. Inga is good at many things, but being fast is not one of them. She throws herself out of the way, falling. It is not the least bit graceful. Angry now, Inga looks up to the giant creature, growling out a few words as she raises her staff. The runes glow a bright blue-white before a bolt of lightning cracks through the air and into the giant robot sheep. Hopfully that does the trick, because if that thing wants to smoosh or shoot her now there's not a whole lot she can do about it.
Dorian Pavus	Robot sheep dead, Dorian begins to breathe a sigh of relief. And then suddenly the floor is dropping. Dorian has to move quickly, to avoid falling with the rest of the floor. But once he's safe from falling, there's another problem. Namely... this... person. Immediately Dorian rolls his eyes. Not at 'sheep science'. At the whole presentation. Cackling villainous cliché. "Desperate bids for attention are unbecoming," he states with a scowl. He looks between the others, quickly assessing their various states. Yari seems to be able to walk up walls and jump like a flea. Sanary has the wall she's made; admittedly she could probably use some more help, but Inga seems to be having more trouble. Dorian's only one man (who'd be able to stand more than one of him?!), so he goes to Inga first, helping her to get clear of the falling floor and the shots. Hopefully Yari's smoke bombs will keep it blinded long enough. Once he's sure both he an Inga are out of immediate danger, he follows suit with the blood mage. In a way. He casts a circle before the giant sheep, planting a lightning orb directly in front of its face. Lightning Cage, a spell that causes electrical damage to anything that tries to leave its perimeter. Except he's purposely cast it too far forward, leaving the sheep half-in and half-out of the perimeter it emcompasses. Besides that, the sheep may just be too big to sit in that perimeter anyway. So, with luck, the lightning orb in the sky before the giant mechasheep's face will constantly be shocking it. And possibly the jerk controlling it.
Yari Takane	Thank goodness for healing, as Sanary's magic soothes many a wound, and closes others on Yari. A deep breath, and the ninja is mostly on her feet! And good thing too, as the sheep-scientist is alert! "Simple! If I take over this village, I can ransom everyone! Then all will now the power of robotic sheep and their metallic fur!" SHNK! The metal on the sheep grows hard, spiney metallic coverings! Metal-fur if you will! Best not to pet this spiney fluff! It's only a few bricks at a time, but even the slightest resistance helps as energy builds in that cannon. That bolt of lightning thanks to Inga slams into the creature...and most importantly, right into it's cannon-maw! The pile of bricks that Sanary chucked in there instantly is melted to slag by Inga's bolt. And then Dorian adds on by shoving a cage of Lightning further half-in and half-out of it's visage! The massive robo sheep shudders, as many internal robo components short out, there's a hitch of the creature backwards, and both sheep and scientist seem to scream. Pressure builds in the sheepy robot, as the cannon power is backed up, and the results of lightning plus internally gunked up robo-sheep provide their natural course. Yari leaps desperately. A chained scythe wraps about a scientist's neck, and roughly throws him away from the blast. There's a burst of white light. Yari yells, and she leaps for the downed wisewoman. "RUN!" She howls, even as she tries to haul her two captured folks out of the barn. A few seconds later, there is no barn. Yari Takane collapses in a heap, throwing down her two attempted save-ee's. A wisewoman might be alright. The scientist, not so much. He's missing most of his legs, and crying in pure pain. Yari's back is blackened from the leap. "Nnngh...Sanaary? Healing...and transport for this sheep-idiot." It seems she wants to turn sheep-science man to Confed Justice. Poor guy.
Inga Freyjasdottir	Inga is yanked out of the way of Sheepy doom by Dorian, holding onto him for support to get away more quickly. "Thank you!" she calls to him, then steadies herself while he does his thing with the lightning. She watches, admiring another mage's work. Unfortunatly, the combined attacks of all present seem to be leading to an explosion of some kind. She knows this, because she just so happens to have a convenient vision to inform her of such. Inga curses. She's going to explode tonight. But then it is Yari to the rescue! Inga is hauled out of the way again, mildly flailing, but grateful. "Thank you Yari," she breathes, turning to look toward what is no longer a barn. "Well that...was interesting," she comments.
Sanary Rondel	That was his plan? Even though Sanary's not exactly the smartest person around, even she can feel something breaking in her head trying to figure that out. Thankfully, she's not left to think about what's going on too long as her survival instinct kicks in, and the combined assault sets to giant robot sheep to blow. When Yari's call to retreat comes, the cleric doesn't need to be told twice as she just books it right out of the barn! She'll just have to hope the sheep have been sufficiently scared away far enough to get to safety, too. By the time all the dust settles, the healer falls over as well next to Yari and the scientist. Even after healing herself a bit, she's still got several bullet holes in her limbs and a few lodged in her midsection! "Son of a... Guh. Everyone okay?" She glances over at Yari, Inga, and Dorian, a satisfied (yet somewhat pained) chuckle leaving her as she sits back up. The more familiar green light from her healing magic starts to flow around as she directs that energy into each of her companions, occasionally shoving a mote into the mangled scientist to keep him from bleeding too much at once. "Could've... Gone worse, I guess. Aah. Yeah, deifnitely... Interesting. Er. Think anyone noticed?" So a barn just exploded. That's normal out here, right?
Dorian Pavus	Dorian doesn't have to be told to run. Once the mechasheep starts doing its bit, Dorian figures that whatever forces are at work in its artificial body, it's probably not anything they want to deal with. Strangely, though... he doesn't immediately leave when the call goes up. He waits, just long enough to see to the others. Yari has Inga, good. And Sanary seems able to run. So Dorian does exactly that. He's a pretty well-built guy, but he's only human. The hesitation means that, while he doesn't get caught in the explosion itself, he does get thrown the last leg of his journey by the shockwave. Fortunately though, he looks like he's unhurt. Just covered with wool and now grass and dirt. He just shifts, to sit on the ground properly instead fo go facedown in it-- luckily he didn't catch any animal dung, that would have been the pinnacle of 'I hate this day'-- and looks at the place where the barn was. He's quiet 'till Sanary speaks up. Then he quips, "Unless everyone in this area is deaf as posts. Vacating the area entirely is probably a good idea..."